I posted a quick reference to this on your Facebook about a week ago, you didn’t know why at the time but it was in preparation for this post. Then I just never found the time to do this properly. Even now you could be looking over my shoulder and I just find that odd while I am typing these updates. It is exactly why I don’t do them in the office at home. Anyway, I digress….
We have been married for 20+ years now my love. I know that I promised to take care of you forever. I intend upon fulfilling that promise. However, for the first time in 20+ years you truly scared me. Really scared me. So much so that I am now beyond taking care of you and feel the need to make you feel safe – to protect you.
You likely don’t remember what happened because you had had a few beers. It is always then that those kinds of things that hurt us most come to the surface. Its ok, everyone needs some liquid courage every now and again. We were at your brother’s house, talks of when you guys where younger began, they shifted to the pregnant niece in Florida, they shifted to her worthless parents, then to a funeral conversation that took place long ago….I really don’t need to go further. Then you just got upset. Not angry upset. But hurt upset. It was like you suddenly realized that no one supports you. That no one cares about what happened. That no one is on your side. You held back tears because you didn’t want to bring every one down. You bit your lip so to speak. But I know when you are hurting. I know you better than anyone.
Its not true my love. You aren’t alone. You don’t have to deal with anything by yourself. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that you are all alone in dealing with things, you aren’t. I am here. I am always here. I am that one person who puts you above all else. I put you above myself. I will always protect you.
I am always here to hold you. To hug you. To thrust whatever hurt you are feeling upon. To vent against. To take out frustration one. Whatever you need. I will always bee there with whatever you need. If you need me to be strong for you, I will be strong. If you need a laugh I will make you smile. If you need a shoulder to lean on I will stand upright forever. If you need a tear wiped, I will be your tissue. If you need to take for granted that I am there, I’ll accept that.
I know you think that God has a plan. a reason for why everything happens. I know it makes you mad that I don’t always feel the same way. But trust me in whatever plan God had for you – I was the thing he sent to make things better for you. Forever. To protect you. Forever. To take care of you. Forever.
I am your forever sweetie. No matter what you do to me I will always be there. No matter what you need from me – it is yours. Because of me you never have to be alone. You never have to deal with anything by yourself. I may not be perfect, I may not close drawers, I may not wipe off the counter or take off my shoes when you ask me, but I am here for you. I am the one person who loves you above everything else.
You’re the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
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