Never a Bad Time

Well my love you pulled it off. Our oldest daughter had a graduation celebration to end all celebrations. It could not have been any more perfect. You didn't miss a single detail. While she may have seemed at times to not really appreciate everything you did, she will now have memories of her graduation that will last a lifetime.

A lifetime? Wow. Our oldest is about to embark on her "lifetime". Or at least the next chapter of her lifetime. Watching the video the younger daughter made really made me think. This concept of "never a bad time" is really true. Just what "bad times" have they experienced? Very few if any.

When we first started this family I am pretty certain we had no idea what we were doing. No manual, no documentation or instructions and really no support. Just two very much in love, very young people with little clue what they needed to do to be a real family. If anyone really thinks that simply being in love isn't enough, we have proved them wrong.

So how did we pull this off? I guess we should start by dropping the "we" thing. I really feel like it is far more you and far less me. If I added anything it was giving our daughters a sense of how their future husbands should treat them, but the core raising of the kids is all you my love.

So without your manual on perfect parenting how did you do it? It is too easy to say that you simply wanted to make sure they avoided the kind of childhood you had. Everyone can claim that in some form. And as bad as your childhood was, you still managed to draw all of the good things into your own childrens lives. So that cannot be it.

I think the answer is in your meticulous attention to every detail of their lives. Do you remember how much attention to "regular schedules" you gave to them as babies? Bath time was bath time, meal time was meal time and bed time was bed time. The routine was always the same. Dinner (always together), bath (always me), dressed, some cuddling and playing (not too much playing) and then stories and sleep. Every night the same routine. I mean how many times did we read "Ba Ba Sheep" or "The Monster at the End of the Story"?

As they grew older and we had to work around my school schedule and your work schedule, you still made certain there was routine. You planned the meals for me, called to check on them frequently, made sure that you called and said good night even when you couldn't be there.

When they started school, the routine changed only slightly. It lasted for years. While the older one may have been the only senior with a "bed time" last year, she still knew the routine. By now she even recognizes the benefit of following the routine. She will take that to college with her (in her private room!).

Because of you they had very few surprises in life. Very few things that came at them that they were prepared for or weren't already expecting. When little "curve balls" came at them you were right there helping them through it. While their lives may have not been "perfect" they have been damn close.

That is how this family came to be. Two in love "kids" who remain in love and put all of that love into their little family. It was nice to be able to "show off" our little family to the extended family this weekend. I was never more proud.

So with that I have to tell you how much I love you. How proud you make me feel. How amazed I am at you every day. How incredible of a person you are. How lucky we are to have you.

I love you sweetie.

Our 20th Anniversary

Tomorrow we will celebrate our first real 20th anniversary of something. While we have had 20 Christmases together and 20 New Years (go ahead count them off again) we have not had a "20th anniversary" until now. June 11th represents the 20th Anniversary of our first date. Actually it seems after all these years it is just my 20th anniversary of our first date, as you didn't consider it a date at all. Then again it represents the 20th anniversary of our first kiss, which kind of solidified the whole "date" concept.

I've done some research and here is a brief list of some couples that we have outlasted since that date. Christi & Brian, my mom & dad (round 3 or whatever), Meg Ryan & Mark Harmon (we were both on our first dates at the same time), Christina Applegate & Brad Pitt (yup google it go ahead) and Denise Richards and John Stamos. It should be noted that we share a bond with Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon - who first started dating in June of 1988. Of all the couples I found they are the only ones still together after all this time.

Other research I have done indicates that I love you more now than I did 20 years ago. While that sounds odd to be proud of it is only a result of me loving you more every day. In fact, I love you more now than when I start this blog entry. See how that works?

In 1988 gas cost just 91 cents a gallon. It now costs more than $4.00. So it is roughly 4 times as expensive. By comparison, my remedial math tells me I love you more 4 billion times more than in 1988.

In 1988 the Hubble Telescope was launched into space to "watch the earth". It was some number of years later that they realized that the real purpose of the telescope was to actually be able to view the entirety of my love for you. You see you have to be well into outer space to actually be far away enough to see it all.

In 1988 they released the drug Prozac. While it had immediate impacts on treating depression, its timeliness was required as suddenly millions began suffering a form of depression jump started by the millions of men who realized that you were mine forever and no longer potentially available to them.

In 1988 there were some blockbuster movies released. Some hold real meaning for us. Some are just good cables movies. Some are just bad. Of meaning to us are Who Framed Roger Rabbit ("all the times you pulled my ears?"), Big and of course The Accused. Rain Man is a great cable movie for us (we didn't see movies like that back then did we?). Crocodile Dundee II (not the awesome original) leads the bad list. At this point it should be noted that you mom probably would have thought I was pretty "forward" at any of those movies we saw together. When you get a chance apologize to her for me.

In 1988 a McDonald's hamburger cost 35 cents (cheeseburger was 45 cents - and yes tell Megan when I was born they were only 15 cents). Today they are 89 cents. By those standards a hamburger is twice as expensive as it was 20 years ago. However, I recently measure and I think you are 2 billion times a beautiful as you were 20 years ago. (FYI go to http://www.mcdonalds.com/ to verify this information).

I can remember to this day how sexy you looked in that dress. I can remember how awkward the date was for both of us. It was essentially a blind date. I know I have told you this, but you remain the only "date" I ever had in the traditional sense. The only "I called and asked her out, picked her up and returned her home" date I have ever had. I never want another one. Our first date was perfect. Our first kiss was memorable. It was the perfect start to a perfect life together. It remains one of the best days of my life.

So happy anniversary my love. I love you more every day.

Perfect Skin

Today you said something I found kind of "funny". When the painter told you how clean your house was you seemed surprised. If fact to listen to you tell the story you kind of argued with him about just how clean your house really is - as though it isn't really impeccably clean. Not "good enough" for you. "It could be better" so to speak. While that conversation isn't really relevant to my comments, it is indicative of a behavior of yours you really should change.

I find some irony in the one thing you tout as your single biggest parental accomplishment isn't a practice you preach. The girls really do look in the mirror and are completely satisfied with what they see. Not just how pretty they are, but who they are as well. Yet I don't think you give yourself the same credit. You of all people should look in the mirror with total pride. Your life accomplishments and self value exceed any member of the family.

Yet you remain so hard on yourself. You make jokes about your appearance. You never seem satisfied with what you have accomplished. And I think over the past few months it has gotten worse. It confuses me and makes me a bit sad. It also makes me wondered what is going on inside that fabulous mind of yours.

Here is how I see it. You are beautiful. Your smile not only lights a room, it makes the whole house brighter. Your eyes are truly spectacular. You are sexy. You are smart. You are funny. You have many great skills. You have accomplished so much. So much of what you have accomplished has been completely of your own doing.

Career? You may not have one now, but when you did you were the best at what you did and many people noticed how good you were. Frankly with minimal effort, you could have written your own ticket in your career.

Family? EVERYTHING our family is a result of you. We are the family you molded us into. We fit the behaviors you desire. We act in the image you created. We are so lucky for that. We have a family unit that is so strong because of you. We didn't need church or community to create it, we have a family so many people wish they had because we followed your plans. Accomplishments? Hell you have a lifetime of accomplishment in this arena.

Looks? This one bother me the most. Sweetie you are a striking beauty. You may not see it, but you are. I really hate to hear you make jokes about your looks. No matter what you wear I look at you and see the most spectacular woman in the world. You should heed your own advice and do the same. Learn from your daughters on this one. Who you are makes you even more attractive.

Intelligence? You make claims about how smart you are all the time. Those claims are in fact truth. Yet it seems to be the one thing you act most insecure about. Why? You are so intuitive, you learn things so quickly, you can so easily master anything you attempt and you "get" so many things no one else even attempts. Education does not make someone smart Tracy, there are many highly educated people who lack your intelligence.

So to bring this conversation back around to my point. You need to look in the mirror and see the person I just described. It is who we all see. Share in our joy. Above are all the reason why we love you so much. They are all the reasons why I love you and plan to spend the rest of my life with you.

I may be totally off base on my whole thought process. If I am, then take this as a stream of compliments about how I see you. If I am even just a little bit on target, then read this and think of the same advice you gave your daughters.

I love you. I will always love you. To me your are perfect. So to quote a song you have "perfect skin".

Perfect Skin by Lloyd Cole

... she's inappropriate, but then she's much more fun and
when she smiles my way
my eyes go out in vain
she's got perfect skin
shame on you, you've got no sense of grace, shame on me
ah just in case i might come to a conclusion
other than that which is absolutely necessary
and that's perfect skin
she is the girl with the perfect skin
she says turn on the light, otherwise it can't be seen
she's got cheekbones like geometry and eyes like sin
and she's sexually enlightened by cosmopolitan and
when she smiles my way
my eyes go out in vain
for her perfect skin
yeah that's perfect skin
she takes me down to the basement to look at her slides
of her family life, pretty weird at times
at the age of ten she looked like greta garbo
and i loved her then, but how was she to know that
when she smiles my way
my eyes go out in vain
she's got perfect skin ...