Today you said something I found kind of "funny". When the painter told you how clean your house was you seemed surprised. If fact to listen to you tell the story you kind of argued with him about just how clean your house really is - as though it isn't really impeccably clean. Not "good enough" for you. "It could be better" so to speak. While that conversation isn't really relevant to my comments, it is indicative of a behavior of yours you really should change.
I find some irony in the one thing you tout as your single biggest parental accomplishment isn't a practice you preach. The girls really do look in the mirror and are completely satisfied with what they see. Not just how pretty they are, but who they are as well. Yet I don't think you give yourself the same credit. You of all people should look in the mirror with total pride. Your life accomplishments and self value exceed any member of the family.
Yet you remain so hard on yourself. You make jokes about your appearance. You never seem satisfied with what you have accomplished. And I think over the past few months it has gotten worse. It confuses me and makes me a bit sad. It also makes me wondered what is going on inside that fabulous mind of yours.
Here is how I see it. You are beautiful. Your smile not only lights a room, it makes the whole house brighter. Your eyes are truly spectacular. You are sexy. You are smart. You are funny. You have many great skills. You have accomplished so much. So much of what you have accomplished has been completely of your own doing.
Career? You may not have one now, but when you did you were the best at what you did and many people noticed how good you were. Frankly with minimal effort, you could have written your own ticket in your career.
Family? EVERYTHING our family is a result of you. We are the family you molded us into. We fit the behaviors you desire. We act in the image you created. We are so lucky for that. We have a family unit that is so strong because of you. We didn't need church or community to create it, we have a family so many people wish they had because we followed your plans. Accomplishments? Hell you have a lifetime of accomplishment in this arena.
Looks? This one bother me the most. Sweetie you are a striking beauty. You may not see it, but you are. I really hate to hear you make jokes about your looks. No matter what you wear I look at you and see the most spectacular woman in the world. You should heed your own advice and do the same. Learn from your daughters on this one. Who you are makes you even more attractive.
Intelligence? You make claims about how smart you are all the time. Those claims are in fact truth. Yet it seems to be the one thing you act most insecure about. Why? You are so intuitive, you learn things so quickly, you can so easily master anything you attempt and you "get" so many things no one else even attempts. Education does not make someone smart Tracy, there are many highly educated people who lack your intelligence.
So to bring this conversation back around to my point. You need to look in the mirror and see the person I just described. It is who we all see. Share in our joy. Above are all the reason why we love you so much. They are all the reasons why I love you and plan to spend the rest of my life with you.
I may be totally off base on my whole thought process. If I am, then take this as a stream of compliments about how I see you. If I am even just a little bit on target, then read this and think of the same advice you gave your daughters.
I love you. I will always love you. To me your are perfect. So to quote a song you have "perfect skin".
Perfect Skin by Lloyd Cole
... she's inappropriate, but then she's much more fun and
when she smiles my way
my eyes go out in vain
she's got perfect skin
shame on you, you've got no sense of grace, shame on me
ah just in case i might come to a conclusion
other than that which is absolutely necessary
and that's perfect skin
she is the girl with the perfect skin
she says turn on the light, otherwise it can't be seen
she's got cheekbones like geometry and eyes like sin
and she's sexually enlightened by cosmopolitan and
when she smiles my way
my eyes go out in vain
for her perfect skin
yeah that's perfect skin
she takes me down to the basement to look at her slides
of her family life, pretty weird at times
at the age of ten she looked like greta garbo
and i loved her then, but how was she to know that
when she smiles my way
my eyes go out in vain
she's got perfect skin ...
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