A Happy Day for WE

First of all I apologize for the past week or so.  I simply don't feel right.  I have no idea why.  My head is foggy, my thoughts disorganized and I am so tired.  It will pass.  But I apologize for not being myself.  Given all the change in our lives, it is bad timing on my part.

Today is a pretty happy day.  I say that because a year was ago very sad.  Today reminds me that WE are amazing.  That WE can overcome anything.  More importantly that WE are more than just a couple, more than just a marriage, more than just in love - WE are something special.

I really don't know how people should measure success in theirs lives.  I think a lot of people have money.  I think a lot of people have nice cars.  I think a lot of people have fancy houses.  But I don't think a lot of people have what WE have.

WE have done so many amazing things in our lives together.  How many other people have truly been "in love" for as long as WE have?   How many other people have fallen down, picked themselves up and moved on as well as WE have?  How many people have had as many amazing times as WE have?  Does that measure our success?

So let me explain what WE have accomplished and why WE are successful.

WE have grown up together.  WE know everything about each other.  WE know what the other other learned and experienced for most of their lives.  While some might think it is bad there are few surprises, I think that not being surprised is a good thing.  WE have a keen insight into one another that few have.

WE built a family together.  No family is perfect.  Not even close.  But ours reflects almost everything WE thought it should.  Not everything we wanted, but at least everything we thought it should be.  WE have two beautiful daughters.  Both smart, charming, engaging young girls.  They have strong senses of humor, good values, respect and at most levels responsibility.  They aren't perfect, but they will almost always find a way to make us smile.

WE built a relationship together.  WE have a million inside jokes and a million more ways to make each other smile and another million or so to make each other laugh.

WE hold hands very well.  It is like our hands are fit for each other.  Who knows maybe they were.

WE have some amazing kisses.  Not ever the gross, sloppy kind, but always the kind where you know you are kissing the right person.

But most importantly, I think what makes us great is that WE realize that what WE do for others will make their lives better.  WE have each other, WE know WE always will.  WE don't ever have to worry about being alone, so WE do everything WE possibly can to make the people who WE love happier.  WE are now in the part of our lives where WE have enough and can make others happy too.  WE are the final scene in It's a Wonderful Life.

Again I feel like I rambled today, but I woke up very happy.  I hugged you before I left and stole some of your Mojo (not Juju cause you taught me the difference).  I stole from your hug.  But mostly, I just want you to know how much I love you.

WE have made a mark on this world.  One for the better.  Today our little one celebrates her birthday, but in reality WE are celebrating making another mark on this world.

You're the world to me.  I love you more than anything in the world.

I Count on You

So this morning as I grabbed my coffee and sat down at my desk, I looked at the pool of work in front of me.   What first?  I have some tidying up to do on a big presentation.  But honestly the real mood has yet to hit me on that project.  I have some clean up on a process I changed yesterday, but it appears to be working fine right now.  So no real hurry.  I started some mapping yesterday and really need to finish that.  Or I could take a few minutes and post something to the most important person in my life.

This morning she didn't look like she was "OK" when I left.  Last night while she slept, she kind of didn't have that peacefulness she has had all these years we have been sleeping in the same bed.  And all I could think was "this is all my fault".

This isn't an apology post.  This blog was never intended for that purpose.  So please don't read it as such.  Not that I truly don't apologize for being an ass.  I truly do.  I hope you know that.

So I am going to use this space to tell you how much you mean to me.  How on each of the few brief moments in the past 28 years I have taken that for granted, how I immediately regretted doing so.  How I couldn't imagine a day without you in my life.

First of all, I count on morning with you.  I count on my hug and "I love you too".  I hate that you are so aware that withholding that upsets me.  I count your smile when you wake up.  I count on you snuggling with me and sometimes not letting me get out of bed.  You start my day the way it should be started.  Happy.

Throughout the day I know there will be times when I just need to hear your voice.  I count on this too.  No matter what goes on it always helps me to hear you say "hello" when I call home.  I get great relief from stress when you are on the other end of  a call.  I need you to keep me centered, keep me focused and most of all make me know that so long as we have each other - everything is going to be just fine.

I count on you to make me laugh.  I count on you to make me smile.  I count on you to make me feel safe.  I count on you to make me feel loved.

Simply put, I count on you.  I hope you feel the same way about me.

So I kept this short and sweet, but hope I made my point.  Enough silliness my love, I need to make you smile.  I hope this helped.

You're the world to me.  I love you more than anything in the world.

(just a note - about halfway through this post I got a phone call.  However, it doesn't appear to have interrupted the flow)