Importance of Mattering

My love I need you to read this and understand just how important you really are in our lives.  I need you to read this and understand that no matter how much you have doubt - you taught me that god has a purpose for everyone.  I need you to understand that you are serving your purpose and serving it  well and that you matter.

I know "these people" you see. People you know.  People that are close to you.

Everyday your phone rings dozens of times.  Most of those rings annoy you or interrupt what you are doing.  But the people on the other end need to hear your voice when you answer.  They need to know that you are going to be the one who answers.  They need your approval and your love.  Because to those people you are the most important thing.

When these people have something of value to share they want to share it with you.  They feel so pleased with themselves when you are pleased as well.  They know how important it is to share things with you and to verify that you are part of their lives.   They count on you to be the people that they are or are becoming.

They need you.

They love you.

They know you are important.

They know you matter.

Anyone who doesn't know that isn't worth thinking about my love.  I know that isn't what you want to hear, but it isn't a penalty it is a reward.

I can remember very well they person you were when I met you.  You say everyday how you "haven't changed", but you have.  Everyone does.  Things that were important to you then are unimportant now.  You have created a life, a family and a legacy that we all cherish.  You are far wiser and so much more aware than you ever were before.  You are a completely different person.  A better person.

I have re-read this now 3 times and it seems like I have made no sense.  That all I did was repeat a few things from our discussion last night.   But I have to know that you understand how much you matter.  How much your entire life has mattered.  No matter what you think - everyone matters.  EVERYONE.  Especially you.

I can't imagine my life without you..  I can't imagine a day where you weren't there.  I can't imagine a life that didn't have you a part of it.  I can't imagine feeling joy without you there by me or feeling pain without there by me..  Your daughters would say the same thing.

So do not fret my love.  Tell me whatever you need to say.  Get it off your chest - yell - scream - cry - rant - breakdown - whatever you need..  I'll be right there to pick you back up.  To love you.  To hold you.  To let you know how much you really matter.

You're the world to me.  I love you more than anything in the World.

Smile - a Story of Re-entry.

I am very happy that we cleared this silliness about updating the blog up once and for all.  Sometimes you just got to say what you want to say right?

It will make me feel good to know you will read this again.  That it will be important to you.  I really missed updating the blog.  Maybe not every week, but when I feel like I have something I really want you to hear and make you smile.  I like making you smile.

I love you so much sweetie.  I know that is a pretty simple thing to start this with.  But it is simply true.  Not a day goes by that I don't thank god for you.  I try everything I can to make sure you do the one thing I love to see you do the most.  Smile.  When you aren't smiling I get lost as if there is nothing I can do to help you.  I hate feeling that way.  So lets just make sure you are smiling ok?

I found a new Damien Rice album this week.  Had been a few pre-release songs, but the whole "album" came out this week.  So many blips of lyrics that remind me of you.  So many things that made me stop down and think of you.  You will likely remember that on Monday this week I called like a dozen times.  You can thank Damien Rice.

Here is some rambling of quotes - read them and just remember they all made me think good things about you and us.  Lyrics are - in my estimation - always up to the reader to interpret.

Wherever you are, know that I adore you
No matter how far, well I can go before you
If ever you need someone, what not that you need helping
But if ever you want someone, know that I am willing

Always my love always.

So I tried to erase it but the ink bled right through
Almost drove myself crazy and these words led to you
And all these useless dreams of living alone like a dog-less bone

So come let me love you, come let me love you
And then... colour me in.

Ok so he can't spell "color", but he sure knows how to say "you are important to me" doesn't he?

There you go my love.  Two things I heard this week that made me instantly think of you.  It always happens.  Cause you are always on my mind.

You're the world to me.  I love you more than anything in the World.