Tonight I started to get into bed and grabbed the Llama stuffed animal puppy. I am not sure why but I pulled it my nose and took a sniff. What a nice surprise. It literally smells exactly like you do when you get into bed each night. Since we have already established that you ALWAYS smell good at the end of the day, that is a really good thing.
The bad part was it reminded me how much I miss you. I honestly start feeling that way one the train tot he airport. Then as I hang up the phone I always just kind of stare out the window wondering how I will make it until I see you again. Traveling sucks. Anything that takes me away from you is a bad thing.
Its funny how I still feel that way when we are apart. Remember when I used to be able to count the number of days we had spent apart on one hand? I think my Grandfather's last days was actually the first time we ever slept apart (or maybe the girls births - you will remember the exact date). I liked those days so much better.
After all of this travel, I still can't sleep without you next to me. It is roughly 2AM and I am still awake. I need to be able to touch you. Or feel the warmth of your body near me. I'll toss and turn for the rest of the night. It wouldn't happen if you were here or I were there. I'd likely be snoring away, sound asleep in our perfectly sized QUEEN sized bed. I'd likely wake up, kiss you on the forehead while you slept and sneak downstairs for my paper and coffee.
You might not know it, but I often come upstairs several times after I get up. Lots of the time I crawl back into bed and try to get back to sleep. But more often than not I peek in on you. I am always hoping you are awake. If you are still sleeping I might try kissing you on the head or covering you up. But I am really hoping you are awake. I may not have tons of time every morning for it, but I always want that snuggle time to start. And it can't start until you wake up. Tomorrow I will wake up and have ZERO snuggle time.
I won't have anyone to "dance for" after I get out of the shower. No one to try to trick into seeing me naked by pointing to things that are not really there. I won't have anyone to joke around with or make me laugh. My morning will basically suck.
So yes traveling sucks. I can deal with the flights, the work, the airport, the hotels, etc. But I can't deal with no sleeping with you. For nearly 25 years it has been one of the best parts of my day. It makes me feel safe. Makes me feel loved. Makes me feel comfortable. Makes me feel loved.
Our life together is so wonderful. Every part o my life is touched by you. Every part of my life needs you in some way. Even something as simple as sleeping. I couldn't love my life more than I do. Thanks to you.
I guess it is time to start the tossing and turning. Ugh.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Friday, May 3, 2013
The Smile on Your Face
Earlier this week we had one of those moments I will remember for a long time. We had just left the doctor at Northwestern and were coming off the elevator. You called one of the girls to tell them the news and as you were talking I saw the smile on your face. It reminded me that when I think of my favorite things (insert the Sound of Music song here), nothing will rank higher than remembering all the times I have seen that smile over the years.
It isn't just your normal smile. I love that too. You have always had a great smile. When you laugh you are one of those rare people who smile with your whole face. It is contagious. It draws other people in and seems to make them smile too. When you are having a good time it is so easily apparent because of your smile, that everyone else simply has to have a good time, just being around you. I think a big part of that is because of your smile.
But the smile I am talking about is different. It is kind of a private smile. One that only people who really know you get to see. The kind of smile you deserve for only truly special occasions and for people who are very close to you. It is the smile you use when you are truly happy. It is the smile that comes out when it is clear that nothing else matters other than the moment you are currently experiencing. It is a special smile.
I can give you a good example of the smile I am talking about if you want to see it in a picture. Find the picture of you in the hospital bed holding Kendall in your arms after she was born. That is the smile I am talking about. One that shows true joy and happiness. There are many other moment where we caught it on film. Meg's birth and many vacation moments quickly come to mind. I am sure we could build a collage of them if we wanted to.
The best part of this smile is that when it happens it often last for a good long while. Sometimes even carries over for days. I love that. You are always beautiful, but this smile makes you over the top beautiful. Like your inner being has come to the surface for all to enjoy. It is magical. It is one of those things I always look forward to seeing.
So maybe the next time it happens I will tell you. Or maybe not. Maybe I will just keep it for myself and know that I am experiencing another amazing moment with you and cherish it like inhale all the others.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
It isn't just your normal smile. I love that too. You have always had a great smile. When you laugh you are one of those rare people who smile with your whole face. It is contagious. It draws other people in and seems to make them smile too. When you are having a good time it is so easily apparent because of your smile, that everyone else simply has to have a good time, just being around you. I think a big part of that is because of your smile.
But the smile I am talking about is different. It is kind of a private smile. One that only people who really know you get to see. The kind of smile you deserve for only truly special occasions and for people who are very close to you. It is the smile you use when you are truly happy. It is the smile that comes out when it is clear that nothing else matters other than the moment you are currently experiencing. It is a special smile.
I can give you a good example of the smile I am talking about if you want to see it in a picture. Find the picture of you in the hospital bed holding Kendall in your arms after she was born. That is the smile I am talking about. One that shows true joy and happiness. There are many other moment where we caught it on film. Meg's birth and many vacation moments quickly come to mind. I am sure we could build a collage of them if we wanted to.
The best part of this smile is that when it happens it often last for a good long while. Sometimes even carries over for days. I love that. You are always beautiful, but this smile makes you over the top beautiful. Like your inner being has come to the surface for all to enjoy. It is magical. It is one of those things I always look forward to seeing.
So maybe the next time it happens I will tell you. Or maybe not. Maybe I will just keep it for myself and know that I am experiencing another amazing moment with you and cherish it like inhale all the others.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Our Big Fish Tale
Sorry this is a few days late. My new hope is a blog update at least every other week, but for obvious reasons this one got delayed by my doctor (yes, I blame her not me).
Thank you so much for taking me to Big Fish the other day. I enjoyed it so much. The story is my favorite story ever and one that always makes me think of our family and my incredible love for you. So with Big Fish on my mind I thought today's blog would tell you my Big Fish story.
The part of the movie I find most fascinating is how he is remembered. How he managed to have his story(s) live on long after him and in a reverent way. I also really like how without any fan fare he had a life rich of providing for his family. More than anything I like the part about how in love he and his wife stayed for many years.
I am not sure how I will be remembered. My life has not been all that fascinating. I don't have a ton of legendary stories to tell. I've done a good job of providing for my family, but there have certainly been struggles. So in the Edward Bloom fashion, my Big Fish story isn't really comparable.
However, I beat Mr. Bloom hands down in the "love my wife" area. The story he tells about getting a clue each month and then finding the love of his life is interesting and romantic, but it isn't as good as ours. Loving my wife is what I do best. It is my passion in life. It is the one thing I feel like I always do well. If I leave a legend it will be this. "He loved his wife. Never in doubt. She meant everything to him".
No one who tells my story will start with anything that doesn't involve you. No one will looks back on my life will be able to find a moment where my life wasn't about you. My life winds up being a love story. A really romantic, truly amazing love story.
They will tell stories of the good times we had. The fun and laughs. The thousands of stories about funny things that happened while we were together. The crazy antics of time spent together. How two people spent their lives as best friends - inseparable. Almost unable to enjoy them selves without the other present.
They will tell stories of two people who treated each other so well. How we always made time for each other. How we took care of each other. How important we were to each other. How the two of us spent a lifetime making certain that the other was always happy and loved.
They will tell stories of how we held hands forever. How we created magic hugs that seemed to cure bad moods, sad moments, angry fights, sickness, worry, stress....you name it. How we somehow managed to put the strength of two people into one whenever we needed that kind of strength.
They will tell stories of how we built a family. No just any family, but a real family. One that stuck together. One that - even when things seemed their worst - always came back together. One that had so many good times together and so few bad times. A family so close nothing could break it down.
My Big Fish story won't be mine. It will be ours. It will be a love story of epic stature. It will make people cry, it will make them laugh, it will warm their hearts and make them feel safe. It will give them hope. It will be magical. Worthy of its own musical. It will be a tale of two young people who came together at the right time and lived a life in love. Who lived a life completely focused on each other. Who had more than just a marriage, more that just a relationship, were more than just parents or just a couple. It will be a tale of two people who enjoyed each other so much they became one together. Best friends who happened to be more in love than any two people have ever been.
It will be a tale that everyone will want to hear. A tale that we have lived every day for the past quarter of century. One that makes everyone smile.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
Thank you so much for taking me to Big Fish the other day. I enjoyed it so much. The story is my favorite story ever and one that always makes me think of our family and my incredible love for you. So with Big Fish on my mind I thought today's blog would tell you my Big Fish story.
The part of the movie I find most fascinating is how he is remembered. How he managed to have his story(s) live on long after him and in a reverent way. I also really like how without any fan fare he had a life rich of providing for his family. More than anything I like the part about how in love he and his wife stayed for many years.
I am not sure how I will be remembered. My life has not been all that fascinating. I don't have a ton of legendary stories to tell. I've done a good job of providing for my family, but there have certainly been struggles. So in the Edward Bloom fashion, my Big Fish story isn't really comparable.
However, I beat Mr. Bloom hands down in the "love my wife" area. The story he tells about getting a clue each month and then finding the love of his life is interesting and romantic, but it isn't as good as ours. Loving my wife is what I do best. It is my passion in life. It is the one thing I feel like I always do well. If I leave a legend it will be this. "He loved his wife. Never in doubt. She meant everything to him".
No one who tells my story will start with anything that doesn't involve you. No one will looks back on my life will be able to find a moment where my life wasn't about you. My life winds up being a love story. A really romantic, truly amazing love story.
They will tell stories of the good times we had. The fun and laughs. The thousands of stories about funny things that happened while we were together. The crazy antics of time spent together. How two people spent their lives as best friends - inseparable. Almost unable to enjoy them selves without the other present.
They will tell stories of two people who treated each other so well. How we always made time for each other. How we took care of each other. How important we were to each other. How the two of us spent a lifetime making certain that the other was always happy and loved.
They will tell stories of how we held hands forever. How we created magic hugs that seemed to cure bad moods, sad moments, angry fights, sickness, worry, stress....you name it. How we somehow managed to put the strength of two people into one whenever we needed that kind of strength.
They will tell stories of how we built a family. No just any family, but a real family. One that stuck together. One that - even when things seemed their worst - always came back together. One that had so many good times together and so few bad times. A family so close nothing could break it down.
My Big Fish story won't be mine. It will be ours. It will be a love story of epic stature. It will make people cry, it will make them laugh, it will warm their hearts and make them feel safe. It will give them hope. It will be magical. Worthy of its own musical. It will be a tale of two young people who came together at the right time and lived a life in love. Who lived a life completely focused on each other. Who had more than just a marriage, more that just a relationship, were more than just parents or just a couple. It will be a tale of two people who enjoyed each other so much they became one together. Best friends who happened to be more in love than any two people have ever been.
It will be a tale that everyone will want to hear. A tale that we have lived every day for the past quarter of century. One that makes everyone smile.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Happy Anniversary My Love
I guess after 24 years of marriage it is time that I officially apologize to all of the other husbands in the world. So what better day that the date of our 24th wedding anniversary to do so. So this open letter to all other husband serves as both a gift to you and an apology to them.
Dear Other Husbands,
Today I am lucky enough to wake up next to the perfect woman. I have done so nearly every day for the past 24 years. When we awake we will likely turn and hug each other, hold each other and wish that we didn't have to get out f bed. We'd much rather spend more time in each others arms. We do so because we love each other more than any two people have ever loved one another.
I apologize that you don't have what we have. I am sad that your marriage, no matter how strong, isn't our marriage. I am hurt that you cannot experience what we experience every day. We figured out how to be perfectly in love with each other. I can't imagine how you have endured without what we have together.
I offer you some advice on how to "attempt" to have what we have together.
Try laughing together. Not just telling jokes, but truly sharing the joy of laughter together. In my 24 years with my wife I can't even count the times we simply couldn't control our laughter. How many times, we started giggling over the littlest things and laughed so hard for so long we couldn't remember what started the laughing in the first place.
Try having fun together. Spend as much time together as possible. Whatever you enjoy doing - do it it with her. Dance, sing, watch sports, play games - anything you enjoy. Because if you you enjoy doing it on your own, it will only be better with your wife. Play like she is your best friend. And if you are lucky - she will be.
Hold each others hand. Do it as much and as often as possible. It brings you closer together. It heals all wounds. It comforts all pain. It enhances all joy. It is simply the best part of marriage. A hand to hold whenever you need it. A hand t hold whenever you want it. A hand to hold....whenever.
Enjoy her beauty. Remember that she above all others is the most beautiful person in your life. She is the one who thinks of you when she fixes her hair, puts on her makeup or gets dressed. She is likely the mother of your children and they were lucky enough to get their beauty from her. She is someone that you have seen every day for however long and is still picture perfect. Remember that she never has a bad day of being beautiful, because luckily you can always see just how beautiful she really is inside and out.
Finally, enjoy being in love. There really is nothing better. No better feeling exists. It is the one thing that no matter what goes on around you in life that you can count on. Love takes many forms, shows many faces and feels many different things. But love is all we seek in life. It is the only thing that truly can make us happy. Enjoy what you have with you wife. It will never leave you and you will never have to go looking for that love.
So I apologize that you may not have remember these things. I do - every day. That is why I am so happy and so lucky. I am sorry that you don't have what I have. But then again you don't have my wife.
Sincerely - ......
There you go my love. My thoughts on you in an open letter to people who cannot possibly have what we have after 24 years of marriage.
I am so lucky to have you in my life. After 24 years I know that it only gets better from here. We will find new things to laugh about, new ways to have fun, hold hands even more, you will get more beautiful every day and we will enjoy being love even more than we do today.
Happy 24th anniversary. This has been the best 24 years of my life. I would not give up a single day of the past 2 and half decades. I can't wait for the next 24 years.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
Dear Other Husbands,
Today I am lucky enough to wake up next to the perfect woman. I have done so nearly every day for the past 24 years. When we awake we will likely turn and hug each other, hold each other and wish that we didn't have to get out f bed. We'd much rather spend more time in each others arms. We do so because we love each other more than any two people have ever loved one another.
I apologize that you don't have what we have. I am sad that your marriage, no matter how strong, isn't our marriage. I am hurt that you cannot experience what we experience every day. We figured out how to be perfectly in love with each other. I can't imagine how you have endured without what we have together.
I offer you some advice on how to "attempt" to have what we have together.
Try laughing together. Not just telling jokes, but truly sharing the joy of laughter together. In my 24 years with my wife I can't even count the times we simply couldn't control our laughter. How many times, we started giggling over the littlest things and laughed so hard for so long we couldn't remember what started the laughing in the first place.
Try having fun together. Spend as much time together as possible. Whatever you enjoy doing - do it it with her. Dance, sing, watch sports, play games - anything you enjoy. Because if you you enjoy doing it on your own, it will only be better with your wife. Play like she is your best friend. And if you are lucky - she will be.
Hold each others hand. Do it as much and as often as possible. It brings you closer together. It heals all wounds. It comforts all pain. It enhances all joy. It is simply the best part of marriage. A hand to hold whenever you need it. A hand t hold whenever you want it. A hand to hold....whenever.
Enjoy her beauty. Remember that she above all others is the most beautiful person in your life. She is the one who thinks of you when she fixes her hair, puts on her makeup or gets dressed. She is likely the mother of your children and they were lucky enough to get their beauty from her. She is someone that you have seen every day for however long and is still picture perfect. Remember that she never has a bad day of being beautiful, because luckily you can always see just how beautiful she really is inside and out.
Finally, enjoy being in love. There really is nothing better. No better feeling exists. It is the one thing that no matter what goes on around you in life that you can count on. Love takes many forms, shows many faces and feels many different things. But love is all we seek in life. It is the only thing that truly can make us happy. Enjoy what you have with you wife. It will never leave you and you will never have to go looking for that love.
So I apologize that you may not have remember these things. I do - every day. That is why I am so happy and so lucky. I am sorry that you don't have what I have. But then again you don't have my wife.
Sincerely - ......
There you go my love. My thoughts on you in an open letter to people who cannot possibly have what we have after 24 years of marriage.
I am so lucky to have you in my life. After 24 years I know that it only gets better from here. We will find new things to laugh about, new ways to have fun, hold hands even more, you will get more beautiful every day and we will enjoy being love even more than we do today.
Happy 24th anniversary. This has been the best 24 years of my life. I would not give up a single day of the past 2 and half decades. I can't wait for the next 24 years.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
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