Friday, March 16, 2012
Tangled Up in You
Sometimes the strangest songs wind up meaning the best things. I know you are not much for me posting song lyrics in the blog. But I heard this while I was working today and couldn't help but think of you with nearly every word.
You can read the lyrics, but I can also quickly summarize the song.
The person they are talking about is their everything, the one who keeps them going, the one they want to grow old with, the one they are in love with, the one who seems to be their soul, their other half. It is exactly how I feel about you.
Who knew the guys from Staind were so deep?
Tangled Up in You
You're My World
The Shelter From The Rain
You're The Pills
That Take Away My Pain
You’re The Light
That Helps Me Find My Way
You’re The Words
When I Have Nothing To Say
And In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I Am
Still Tangled Up In You
I’m Still Tangled Up In You
Still Tangled Up In You
You're The Fire
That Warms Me When I'm Cold
You're The Hand I Have To Hold
As I Grow Old
You're The Shore
When I Am Lost At Sea
You're The Only Thing
That I Like About Me
And In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I Am
Still Tangled Up In You
I’m Still Tangled Up In You
How Long Has It Been
Since This Storyline Began
And I Hope It Never Ends
And Goes Like This Forever
In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I Am
Still Tangled Up In You
Tangled Up In You
I’m Still Tangled Up In You
Still Tangled Up In You
There you go sweetie. 23 years and I still find new songs that remind me of you. Its what being in love is all about. Needing to stand on a mountain top and scream to the world how you feel about someone. Having it be important that others hear you. SO they know how you feel. Singers get to do it all the time. People who listen to singers, just get to steal their moments.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
Friday, March 9, 2012
What I Needed to Hear
It took 5 days. 5 very long days. 5 days where every minute seemed like a full day. 5 days where each day crushed me a little more than the day before.
It was a punishment I couldn't bear. One that literally tore my heart out. One I deserved, but one I hadn't prepared myself to endure. It was as if the rest of the world went silent. As if there was nothing else I wanted to hear. I sought 3 words - 3 words. They had to come from you. They had to be said the right way. They had to be said with meaning.
For 5 days those words never came.
Then out of nowhere - at the right time - with the right feeling. They came. Suddenly everything was better. Suddenly the emptiness in my chest vanished. Instantly I felt fine.
I end this blog every time I updated it with the same thing.
"You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world"
It is as true today as it was when it was first typed. You are the world to me. Nothing in my life has ever been so important. Nothing has ever been so critical in my life.
So it took the absence of 3 words to make me feel horrible. Then it took those same 3 words to put it all back together again.
"I love you"
I love you too sweetie. More than you will ever know. More than even I know.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
It was a punishment I couldn't bear. One that literally tore my heart out. One I deserved, but one I hadn't prepared myself to endure. It was as if the rest of the world went silent. As if there was nothing else I wanted to hear. I sought 3 words - 3 words. They had to come from you. They had to be said the right way. They had to be said with meaning.
For 5 days those words never came.
Then out of nowhere - at the right time - with the right feeling. They came. Suddenly everything was better. Suddenly the emptiness in my chest vanished. Instantly I felt fine.
I end this blog every time I updated it with the same thing.
"You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world"
It is as true today as it was when it was first typed. You are the world to me. Nothing in my life has ever been so important. Nothing has ever been so critical in my life.
So it took the absence of 3 words to make me feel horrible. Then it took those same 3 words to put it all back together again.
"I love you"
I love you too sweetie. More than you will ever know. More than even I know.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
I Hate Pandora
My love, I can guarantee you that this song never meant anything to me the previous 8 million times it came on the radio. However, it may ring a bit more true after the past few days. Thompson Twins? Really?
I have a picture,
pinned to my wall.
An image of you and of me and we're laughing and loving it all.
Look at our life now, tattered and torn.
We fuss and we fight and delight in the tears that we cry until dawn
Hold me now, warm my heart
stay with me, let loving start (let loving start)
You say I'm a dreamer, we're two of a kind
Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find
So perhaps I should leave here, yeah yeah go far away
But you know that there's no where that I'd rather be than with you here
today
Hold me now, warm my heart
stay with me, let loving start (let loving start)
You ask if I love you, well what can I say?
You know that I do and if this is just one of those games that we play
So I'll sing you a new song, please don't cry anymore
and then I'll ask your forgiveness, though I don't know just what I'm
asking it for
Hold me now, warm my heart
stay with me, let loving start (let loving start)
I love you so much. I meant every word I said the other day. NOTHING in this world means more to me than you do. Nothing ever has. I'll spend every moment of every day trying to make things up to you. You deserve - more than anyone ever has - a storybook romance. I plan on helping you write that story. Every day for the rest of our lives.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
I have a picture,
pinned to my wall.
An image of you and of me and we're laughing and loving it all.
Look at our life now, tattered and torn.
We fuss and we fight and delight in the tears that we cry until dawn
Hold me now, warm my heart
stay with me, let loving start (let loving start)
You say I'm a dreamer, we're two of a kind
Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find
So perhaps I should leave here, yeah yeah go far away
But you know that there's no where that I'd rather be than with you here
today
Hold me now, warm my heart
stay with me, let loving start (let loving start)
You ask if I love you, well what can I say?
You know that I do and if this is just one of those games that we play
So I'll sing you a new song, please don't cry anymore
and then I'll ask your forgiveness, though I don't know just what I'm
asking it for
Hold me now, warm my heart
stay with me, let loving start (let loving start)
I love you so much. I meant every word I said the other day. NOTHING in this world means more to me than you do. Nothing ever has. I'll spend every moment of every day trying to make things up to you. You deserve - more than anyone ever has - a storybook romance. I plan on helping you write that story. Every day for the rest of our lives.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
More Fun than I deserve....
I know how lucky a man can get in life. I know this because I am that man. I am not sure that lucky is exactly the word to describe it, but I am certain that luck had something to do with it all along.
I know how lucky I am because I found the one person in the world who brings me so much joy and fun, that it literally pains me to be apart from her. I found a best friend. A playmate. Someone to spend every moment with - and enjoy every one of those moments.
I have spent the past few months having the time of my life. Enjoying completely new adventures nearly every week. It has been so much fun. Night after night we seem to find something to do together. We seem to stumble on to a great time with little to no effort. We have created so many memories, so many fun stories and so many things we will laugh about for years.
How does that happen? You get lucky enough to find the most fun person in the world to spend your time with every night. You find the one person who makes you laugh the most. You find the one person who can take even the most mundane activity and make it entertaining.
I have found her. I married her. I am so lucky.
It isn't just me who gets to take advantage of the fun. It appears that you have been doing this for years. From high school, to our married friends, to our kids, to our nephews and now to a series of random strangers. Each and every person exposed to the fun that is my wife. Such laughter, such joy, such a wonderful person to be around. Literally all the time.
Who else requires a late night breakfast to close out any evening. Now we do eat in restaurants and ten years ago it was Whataburger Taquitos. It is a requirement to close out a fun night. It adds to the memories.
"One more"? Seriously? How many times have we said that. Now we have are so aware of the "one more" theory, we have taken to creative ways to not be the one who says it first. We have literally recreated math. Because 1 more now equals 7. It is one of your originals. It is a treasured memory.
Social media exploits? A panicked awakening the next day to remove "what was posted last night". A dream that that nerdy Facebook guy would allow us (well mostly me) to edit my posts so I don't look so stupid. Logging into my Facebook and posting things like "the guy across the bar has smoky eyes" (or whatever you posted that time). Checking in at multiple spots night after night. At times, I truly believe your friends are living vicariously through your posts. A few nights off and I bet they miss them.
Impromptu events galore. Nights on the back patio that started with cards and wound up late night Sing Star events. A trip to the Centennial in a cowboy hat - heck Pizanos in a cowboy hat. Summerfest. State Fair. The list goes on.
So why is all of this so important? Because most couples require a large circle of friends to have that much fun. They require a few people to plan and organize and create memories like those listed above. We did it all by ourselves. Mostly just the two of us. Hand in hand. Arm in arm. Two best friends. Two playmates. Two hopelessly in love people. Together all the time.Enjoying every minute we spend together. Unlike most any other couple in the world.
You're more fun than one man deserves. That is why I am lucky.
**** Side note - more serious ****
Yesterday you gave me a hug that removed the weight of the world from my shoulders. I literally felt the stress leave when you hugged me. It meant so much to me. It gave me strength. It made me feel not so alone with my worries. It was exactly what I needed. It was a moment I won't forget soon. I know you hate the song lyrics in the blogs (which BTW, makes this blog so much harder to write) - but the hug made me feel "warmer than warm" - just like in the Damien Rice song. I listened to it today - it came up one the plane - I never realized exactly what the song meant, I just knew it had such pain and then such an uplifting ending. When I heard it I suddenly knew what it was all about. You made me feel "warmer than warm". I am forever in your debt. I am forever in love with you.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
I know how lucky I am because I found the one person in the world who brings me so much joy and fun, that it literally pains me to be apart from her. I found a best friend. A playmate. Someone to spend every moment with - and enjoy every one of those moments.
I have spent the past few months having the time of my life. Enjoying completely new adventures nearly every week. It has been so much fun. Night after night we seem to find something to do together. We seem to stumble on to a great time with little to no effort. We have created so many memories, so many fun stories and so many things we will laugh about for years.
How does that happen? You get lucky enough to find the most fun person in the world to spend your time with every night. You find the one person who makes you laugh the most. You find the one person who can take even the most mundane activity and make it entertaining.
I have found her. I married her. I am so lucky.
It isn't just me who gets to take advantage of the fun. It appears that you have been doing this for years. From high school, to our married friends, to our kids, to our nephews and now to a series of random strangers. Each and every person exposed to the fun that is my wife. Such laughter, such joy, such a wonderful person to be around. Literally all the time.
Who else requires a late night breakfast to close out any evening. Now we do eat in restaurants and ten years ago it was Whataburger Taquitos. It is a requirement to close out a fun night. It adds to the memories.
"One more"? Seriously? How many times have we said that. Now we have are so aware of the "one more" theory, we have taken to creative ways to not be the one who says it first. We have literally recreated math. Because 1 more now equals 7. It is one of your originals. It is a treasured memory.
Social media exploits? A panicked awakening the next day to remove "what was posted last night". A dream that that nerdy Facebook guy would allow us (well mostly me) to edit my posts so I don't look so stupid. Logging into my Facebook and posting things like "the guy across the bar has smoky eyes" (or whatever you posted that time). Checking in at multiple spots night after night. At times, I truly believe your friends are living vicariously through your posts. A few nights off and I bet they miss them.
Impromptu events galore. Nights on the back patio that started with cards and wound up late night Sing Star events. A trip to the Centennial in a cowboy hat - heck Pizanos in a cowboy hat. Summerfest. State Fair. The list goes on.
So why is all of this so important? Because most couples require a large circle of friends to have that much fun. They require a few people to plan and organize and create memories like those listed above. We did it all by ourselves. Mostly just the two of us. Hand in hand. Arm in arm. Two best friends. Two playmates. Two hopelessly in love people. Together all the time.Enjoying every minute we spend together. Unlike most any other couple in the world.
You're more fun than one man deserves. That is why I am lucky.
**** Side note - more serious ****
Yesterday you gave me a hug that removed the weight of the world from my shoulders. I literally felt the stress leave when you hugged me. It meant so much to me. It gave me strength. It made me feel not so alone with my worries. It was exactly what I needed. It was a moment I won't forget soon. I know you hate the song lyrics in the blogs (which BTW, makes this blog so much harder to write) - but the hug made me feel "warmer than warm" - just like in the Damien Rice song. I listened to it today - it came up one the plane - I never realized exactly what the song meant, I just knew it had such pain and then such an uplifting ending. When I heard it I suddenly knew what it was all about. You made me feel "warmer than warm". I am forever in your debt. I am forever in love with you.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Answering all those pryaers....
I know it has been a while since I posted to the blog. It really hurt me to that you really notice the lack of posts and that it bothers you. This one has been in my head for some time - but typing something so personal requires some privacy to do so, and I haven't really been in places where that has been true much the past month.
I read this article about how much bandwidth would be required to have god answer every prayer from every person. The writer estimated that people pray to god nearly 5 times a day. Interestingly, he was aware that nearly 80% of those prayers are not for thanks, not for comfort, but rather "requests" to have god give or provide something to the person making the prayer.
I started thinking that while I am not a man a great faith, I do - thanks to you - have a strong faith in belief. You have finally turned me around to the higher power theory. Because of you I know there is a plan for us all and that someone with greater influence than those of us on earth is in charge of that plan. Even with that, I realized that I - unlike the rest of the population - never pray to have something provided for me. I tried very hard to remember the last time I did so. I think I figured out when that actual date was and even figured out what I asked god to give to me.
My prayer involved me asking god to make sure that I was never alone. That I would always have someone to talk to and share my life. That no matter what i did I was going to do it for more than just my sake, but rather for the sake of someone else. That no matter what came along - good or bad - we would be sharing the outcomes together.
My prayer to god included me asking him to make me happy. That everyday I had something to live for and that I would never feel sad. That something joyful would be a part of my day - every day - and that that joy would extended itself to me. That I would have a reason to smile and that my smile would be real.
My prayer also added that I be able to make someone else happy. That I could pay him back for the happiness he provided me by making someone else smile. It was, I guess kind of a deal I was making. God if you give me this....I promise to....
My prayer was that I would have have a family of my own. That my family would be wonderful. We would all love each other and be grateful for one another. We would be very close and want to share our love for each other no matter what happened.
My prayer was that someone would love me forever. That I would be able to hold their hand forever. That we would have a love so strong that nothing could come between us.
I remember now the day I made this prayer. I remember thinking to myself that it was so much to ask. I remember thinking that it was likely very selfish of me to request so much at one time. I was young, not sure where I was headed and certain that none of my request would ever come true. But like the million/billions of others the article referred to - I made my request. In my defense, it wasn't like I asked for a new car or a big deposit to my bank account. Those kind of request have to be ignored by god. Just like the other in the article I am sure that just making the prayer was the biggest part of the result. Getting the request off your chest is apparently most of the power of god. It wasn't like it would really be answered right?
I guess I was wrong. God did answer my prayers. God did give me everything I wanted. He didn't even make me wait to have each request answered separately. He answered my prayers with in one big fantastic way - he put you into my life.
You made me never be alone, you made me happy and able to share my happiness, you helped me have a family and made that family perfect, you gave me someone to love forever and love me forever. God answered my prayers. He answered them perfectly. You are the answer to my prayers. How could I ever even think to ask again. What could top that? So for the past almost 25 years, I haven't really needed to make one of those prayers like the billions of others. Mine had already been answered. Asking for another would just be selfish. God already did his best work for me.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
I read this article about how much bandwidth would be required to have god answer every prayer from every person. The writer estimated that people pray to god nearly 5 times a day. Interestingly, he was aware that nearly 80% of those prayers are not for thanks, not for comfort, but rather "requests" to have god give or provide something to the person making the prayer.
I started thinking that while I am not a man a great faith, I do - thanks to you - have a strong faith in belief. You have finally turned me around to the higher power theory. Because of you I know there is a plan for us all and that someone with greater influence than those of us on earth is in charge of that plan. Even with that, I realized that I - unlike the rest of the population - never pray to have something provided for me. I tried very hard to remember the last time I did so. I think I figured out when that actual date was and even figured out what I asked god to give to me.
My prayer involved me asking god to make sure that I was never alone. That I would always have someone to talk to and share my life. That no matter what i did I was going to do it for more than just my sake, but rather for the sake of someone else. That no matter what came along - good or bad - we would be sharing the outcomes together.
My prayer to god included me asking him to make me happy. That everyday I had something to live for and that I would never feel sad. That something joyful would be a part of my day - every day - and that that joy would extended itself to me. That I would have a reason to smile and that my smile would be real.
My prayer also added that I be able to make someone else happy. That I could pay him back for the happiness he provided me by making someone else smile. It was, I guess kind of a deal I was making. God if you give me this....I promise to....
My prayer was that I would have have a family of my own. That my family would be wonderful. We would all love each other and be grateful for one another. We would be very close and want to share our love for each other no matter what happened.
My prayer was that someone would love me forever. That I would be able to hold their hand forever. That we would have a love so strong that nothing could come between us.
I remember now the day I made this prayer. I remember thinking to myself that it was so much to ask. I remember thinking that it was likely very selfish of me to request so much at one time. I was young, not sure where I was headed and certain that none of my request would ever come true. But like the million/billions of others the article referred to - I made my request. In my defense, it wasn't like I asked for a new car or a big deposit to my bank account. Those kind of request have to be ignored by god. Just like the other in the article I am sure that just making the prayer was the biggest part of the result. Getting the request off your chest is apparently most of the power of god. It wasn't like it would really be answered right?
I guess I was wrong. God did answer my prayers. God did give me everything I wanted. He didn't even make me wait to have each request answered separately. He answered my prayers with in one big fantastic way - he put you into my life.
You made me never be alone, you made me happy and able to share my happiness, you helped me have a family and made that family perfect, you gave me someone to love forever and love me forever. God answered my prayers. He answered them perfectly. You are the answer to my prayers. How could I ever even think to ask again. What could top that? So for the past almost 25 years, I haven't really needed to make one of those prayers like the billions of others. Mine had already been answered. Asking for another would just be selfish. God already did his best work for me.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Dating Again
I feel really bad that it has been so long since I last posted. The past few weeks have been a blur for me. I have some stress to deal with, we have been busy with family and at work I never seem to find time in my day. However, I love you so much and I know you deserve better.
The girls go home this weekend and our new city-mate will soon be finding his own way. So that means we are going to start having time with just us again. I love that time. So because it is a "new year" (I missed that post too), I figured I would use this to tell you a few things I am looking forward to in our 2012.
For the first time we are going to have a proper Valentines date. I can't really remember us ever doing that over the years. But this year it will be filled with a fancy dinner (one you get o dress up for - because I LOVE THAT), flowers, candy and maybe even a surprise "event". It is kind of a shame that we haven't used the international day of romance to show the world how much we love each other. So Chicago beware! The two most in love people in the world are hitting the streets on the night of love. The city may never be the same.
I'd like to take a quick weekend trip together. Not too far - we don't even have to fly. Just a Friday / Saturday night trip to someplace that will pamper you properly. Maybe a return to the American Club in Kohler. Maybe we finally get to Mackinack Island. Maybe a romantic B&B off the shores of Laek Michigan during blueberry season. Who knows. It might be a great idea to to tie it to our 23rd wedding anniversary (yup 23 years) in March or maybe we wait for better weather. However, it will be just us. It will be relaxing. It will be romantic. It will be memorable.
I am really enjoying this "going out Fridays" routine we have suddenly started. So this year we are going to have to continue it as much as possible. We might even be regulars at Pippins - maybe even known by name! We have like a thousand bars we can hit, a million restaurants and hundreds of places to eat 4AM breakfast. Then we can spend Saturday just recovering, relaxing and hanging out.
This summer I want to spend as many Sunday's at zoo's, parks and beaches as possible. We have a world of places to have picnics (finally going to use that basket!), get some sun, have some ice cream (5 ingredients only worked huh?), a lemonade, an adult beverage...you name it. We are going to take advantage of the city we have in front of us.
So there are the plans. I didn't get much past summer, because we might not be int he city after that. But that is what I would like to do.
All of these things have one thing in common. We do them together. Hand in hand. Arm in arm. A Kiss here and a hug there. It is like we found the fountain of youth. We get to live our younger dating lives all over again. You were the best girlfriend ever in 1988, the best new bride in 1989 and the perfect wife and mother every subsequent year. Now we get to start doing dating things again. We get to make new memories, create new funny stories. We get to start a new romance with each other, even though we are already hopelessly in love.
I can't wait.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
The girls go home this weekend and our new city-mate will soon be finding his own way. So that means we are going to start having time with just us again. I love that time. So because it is a "new year" (I missed that post too), I figured I would use this to tell you a few things I am looking forward to in our 2012.
For the first time we are going to have a proper Valentines date. I can't really remember us ever doing that over the years. But this year it will be filled with a fancy dinner (one you get o dress up for - because I LOVE THAT), flowers, candy and maybe even a surprise "event". It is kind of a shame that we haven't used the international day of romance to show the world how much we love each other. So Chicago beware! The two most in love people in the world are hitting the streets on the night of love. The city may never be the same.
I'd like to take a quick weekend trip together. Not too far - we don't even have to fly. Just a Friday / Saturday night trip to someplace that will pamper you properly. Maybe a return to the American Club in Kohler. Maybe we finally get to Mackinack Island. Maybe a romantic B&B off the shores of Laek Michigan during blueberry season. Who knows. It might be a great idea to to tie it to our 23rd wedding anniversary (yup 23 years) in March or maybe we wait for better weather. However, it will be just us. It will be relaxing. It will be romantic. It will be memorable.
I am really enjoying this "going out Fridays" routine we have suddenly started. So this year we are going to have to continue it as much as possible. We might even be regulars at Pippins - maybe even known by name! We have like a thousand bars we can hit, a million restaurants and hundreds of places to eat 4AM breakfast. Then we can spend Saturday just recovering, relaxing and hanging out.
This summer I want to spend as many Sunday's at zoo's, parks and beaches as possible. We have a world of places to have picnics (finally going to use that basket!), get some sun, have some ice cream (5 ingredients only worked huh?), a lemonade, an adult beverage...you name it. We are going to take advantage of the city we have in front of us.
So there are the plans. I didn't get much past summer, because we might not be int he city after that. But that is what I would like to do.
All of these things have one thing in common. We do them together. Hand in hand. Arm in arm. A Kiss here and a hug there. It is like we found the fountain of youth. We get to live our younger dating lives all over again. You were the best girlfriend ever in 1988, the best new bride in 1989 and the perfect wife and mother every subsequent year. Now we get to start doing dating things again. We get to make new memories, create new funny stories. We get to start a new romance with each other, even though we are already hopelessly in love.
I can't wait.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
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