Happy Anniversary My Love.......and then she

I can't believe another year has passed.  My favorite day of the year has come again.  My day of ultimate joy and celebration.  My day of amazement and astonishment.  My one day of the year when I know everything goes right - no matter what.  Our anniversary (in my head I said "anniverserary").

It seems like there could never be something so perfect.  Especially between two people.  I read recently that people are less likely to form bonds than at any point in the history of the world.  That computers, social media and the "connected lifestyle" have almost replaced the need for actual human interaction and emotion.  That relationships have become as disposable as your next cell phone upgrade.  That ironically your next cell phone upgrade or the next release of the iPhone are more personal moments in your life than your actual relationships.  Wow, that creepy movie where the guy fell in love with the computer may really becoming reality.

Thank god you and I are safe form that world. I know we are because there is nothing more I treasure than my relationship with you.  In fact, I can't imagine anything that could be more important.  I know that in the past few weeks I have complained about never being alone.  It isn't that I want to be alone at all.  It is that I feel really bad that I don't update this blog.  And it takes being alone to be able to write something you feel like will be poignant and make the reader smile.  I can't do that with you in the other room or at work with a busy office going on around me.

I, in fact, need the interaction with you to be feel live.  How that could ever go away baffles me.  How a generation of people will have even a slight chance of not feeling that way.  How the "approval" of faceless minions could ever replace the comfort of having someone actually with you.  And not just with you physically, but with you entirely.  I feel that way when I am with you.  Alive.  Real.  Safe.  Whatever the words are, I know I feel it.

So today I celebrate that feeling.  The one I can't really describe.  The one that makes me smile when I shouldn't, cry when it doesn't make sense, laugh when nothing is funny and get that warm feeling when it is freezing cold.  For the past 27 years I'd just call it "being in love".  But I feel like now we have even gone beyond just being in love.  We are at a love that never has doubts.  A love that we know will never go away.  A love that has no end.  27 years it took to get here and another 50 in front of us.

So I thought long and hard about how exactly I would explain this feeling to you.  The right words never came into my head.  Then today you did something that put it into words.  It was subtle, it was quick, but it made it all clear.

We were standing in the kitchen at the office.  Chris was eating salad.  I was standing in front of you.  I felt a small itch in the middle of my back.  I am not sure if I moved funny to make it stop or if I made that "back scratching like shoulder shrug" and you noticed.  But for no reason you reached up my shirt and scratched my back.  Like you knew somehow.  Like somehow you had a sense that I needed exactly that at that exact time.  27 years of an extremely personal relationship and an undying love made that happen.  So I immediately thought of the "...and then she..." moments.  Those things that happen magically between us.  So I figured for our anniversary I'd tell you about some of the best "...and then she..." moments that remind me why I love you so much.

...and then she smiles
...and then she makes me my favorite food
...and the she walks in front of me and moves just that way
...and then wears her hair different because she wants me to notice
...and then she puts her hand on my neck and rubs just so
...and then she kisses me at the top of my cheek
...and then she lets a song "I like" play o the radio
...and then she laughs
...and the she reaches to hold my hand 
...and then she gets that look in her eyes
...and then she calls to tell me something with that awesome excited voice
...and then she tells me she loves me
...and then she asks me to hold her in bed
...and then she won't let me get out of bed in the morning just because
...and then she just hugs me
...and then she just kisses me
...and then she just needs me
...and then she just loves me

...and then I realize that for 27 years those things have just happened.  Happened right on cue.  Happened when I need them most.  Happened when I didn't expect them.  They just happened because I have you.  Because you said "yes" so long ago.  The day I got everything I ever wanted.

Happy anniversary my love.

You’re the world to me.  I love you more than anything in the world.