Anniversary 2017. 10 reason. Reason Number 7.

I think there have been ore than a few times in this blog where I referred to my theory that life has a series of "moments" that have so much impact on your life that you wonder just what would have happened had they gone some other way.  Little things like "I turned right when I could have turned left.  Turning right helped me avoid traffic."  Or things of that nature.

Sometimes these little decisions have much more dramatic impacts on your life.  I have one of those with you.  A decision I made that seemed so minor at the time, but had such a major impact on me forever.  I have a moment that changed my life.  Forever.  And certainly for the better.

I will start with some background on our "dating" life.  June 11th is always going to be a landmark day in my life.  The day I met you.  You were so beautiful.  So different form anyone I had ever met.  So intriguing and quite frankly kind of intimidating to me.  The whole time we dated that summer, I always felt like you were going to figure out you were way out of my league.  You would eventually figure out you were "slumming" it and I was just something you were using to fill time until you found more interesting things to do with your life.  You were too pretty for me.  You came from "hoity toity" Chicago.  You lived with that "perfect family" and talked all the time about things I could never imagine were real.  In my mind your life only happened in movies.

So all facts regarding our first go around aside, I must tell you one thing you have to believe.  I was completely enamored with you.  I knew you were special.  I knew you were what I wanted.  However, I was certain I wasn't what you wanted and at that time in my life, I wasn't confident enough to make it happen.  So I took the easy way out.

Then fate kind of stepped in.  My moment.  THE moment.

I was in no way, shape or form proud of myself at that point in my life.  Honestly every day that passed I felt like it got worse and worse.  My family life sucked.  My life was going nowhere and I was not even close to the person I wanted to be.  Then I broke my hand.  It started my "wake up".  A reminder of how fast being a moron could ruin my life forever.  But still I lacked the courage to do anything about it for the better.

Then that phone call.  That voice on the other end that reminded me that there was something better out there for my life.  I was shocked the call came.  I can remember very vividly being both excited and completely nervous.

Then it hit me.  Here was my chance.  My chance to make things right.  For you and for me.  My chance at something better in life.  My chance to recapture something I had realized I screwed up so badly.  A chance at redemption.  That chance was you.

I remember exactly this:

"What are doing right now?"  (she is going to shoot me down, she was just being polite to call.  It was what people better than me did)

"Nothing really"  (OMG she didn't immediately need to help her sister or have something else to do)

"Want to do something?" (now really nervous because she now has her chance to get away)

"Sure, what" (shock hits me, my courageous act is not in vain)

"I don't care, as long as it is on the other side of that door"  (wow I did it.  I really did it.)

Then I can't remember exactly what words we exchanged.  I know you needed some time to get ready or finish something with your sister and her kids.  But we had plans.  Real plans.  A movie.  A date.  My confidence grew.  I would not screw this up.  No way.

"The Accused" will forever hold a special place in my heart.  But what I did after the movie remains among the boldest and best decisions I have ever made.  Keep in mind my love, I had no idea you really had feelings for me. I had no idea you ever did.  In my mind I was like an experiment to you.  I have learned since that you did have feelings for me the whole time, but at that time I would have never believed it - no matter what anyone told me.

Dropping you off was surreal.  You were so beautiful.  Your smile was already etched in my brain.  In less than 4 hours I had completely changed as a person.  I knew exactly what I wanted.  I knew you were "that person".  So I did it.  I kissed you.  It remains one of the most amazing kisses in history.  Even better than our first.  MTV started their "MTV Movie Kiss of the Year" shortly afterwards and I know it was because they somehow caught ours.  In one amazing moment my life was changed forever.

The next day we didn't see each other.  I did what would be my last stupid thing ever.  The regret of that day bothered me like no other regret in my life.  I tried to sabotage myself, but knowing I wanted you wouldn't let me do it.  From that point forward it was all about you - forever.

So reason number 7 is simple my love.  You changed - no - you saved my life.  On that Halloween evening my life changed for the better.  It has been nothing but a fairy tale ever since.  One that gets more and more magical every day.  You have no idea how important you are to me.  Words cannot describe my feelings for you.  You should know that in less than 10 days after that day, I decided to ask you to marry me.  I didn't know how or when, but with each day I got more and more confident.

The rest as they say.  Is history.

So happy "almost" our anniversary my love. Just 7 days to go.

You're the world to me.  I love you more than anything in the world.