A Plan for Life: Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mothers Day My Love.

It appears that Mother's Day has never really been a big day for the blog.  Not sure why, but it appears that over the past 6 years this forum hasn't been used to tell the world how special you are as a mother.

I know today is an especially big day for you.  Life is as it should be.  And that is a good thing.  However, I have come to realize that things were never "not as they should be" and for a very good reason.  You are not just a good mom, you are a great mom.  Here is why.

Over the years you have spent considerable time with one basic parental rule.  One rule that I think you figured "if this goes right, everything else will fall into place".  I just don't think you know how deep that rule went.  How important it was to our children.  Better yet, how much it impacted their lives.

That rule is simple.  As you have always said, "I simply want my daughters to look in the mirror and be happy with what they see".  I think you have said it in many forms, but that is the gist of your plan.  A simple rule, but one with such far reaching effects.

On the surface, it has a bit of an air of vanity.  When they look in the mirror they should see an outward appearance that makes them proud.  Yes, they see that they are beautiful.  Yes, they see something appealing to the eye.  Yes they realize that they were given gifts of attractiveness.  No they are not fat.  No they are not ugly.  No they don't see something hideous.  You taught them to think they are beautiful.  I think that no matter what either says, they feel this way.  They know that they have outward beauty.  Better yet, they both know are the only ones they need to be beautiful for.  Most importantly, I think they both look like their mom, and frankly you are stunning.

The "look in the mirror" goes a bit deeper though.  When they look in the mirror they both know that they need to look beyond the outward appearance and see something that makes them proud.  They can both answer the question "am I the person I need to be".  While the answer may not always be yes.  They both know to look.  They both know that the person in that mirror has to feel good about themselves.  That person needs to know that they are happy.  They need to know that they are loved.  You have been the type of mother who has done everything possible to make certain that happiness is more important than anything else.  You have been the type of mother who has taught them that "self-pride" is more important than anything anyone else may say or think about them.  You have made them not just pretty girls, but amazing young ladies.

The "look in the mirror" also has one final aspect.  It is one you take for granted, but I think is very important to them.  Because you have been so important to them their whole lives, they look in the mirror and ask themselves one question every day.  "Do I see someone who my mother is proud of and approves of?"  When they don't they may lash out, they may fight, they may argue.  This is the tricky part.  Because no one is perfect.  No one makes it through their entire lives without a "hiccup" or a "bump in the road".  When your kids experience those things they have been taught that the path away from those interruptions is being able to look in the mirror and see what their mother knows they should see.  Thus when they have doubts, they somehow have let you down.  Yet they both know that everything will be back to normal when they look in the mirror and see the person their mother brought them up to be.  When they look in the mirror and see someone they are proud of, someone beautiful and someone happy - then they are good.  Then they are reminded that their mom taught them well, That she knew exactly what they needed to be happy.

Life isn't always perfect.  Life isn't always pretty.  But a because our children were given a "plan" for life by their mother, life is always good.  You did an amazing thing.  Gave them a gift they will keep forever.  You taught them a lesson from a very young age that they will keep forever.

That is why we celebrate Mother's Day for you.  It isn't because of all the work you have done for the past 26 years.  It isn't for the diaper changes, soccer games, school events, presents, clothes, haircuts, or anything else.  Those things any mother can do.  It is because from birth you always knew what was best for them.  It is because you raised them well.  It is because you gave them a plan for life.

I'll add the more obvious Mother's Day notes to make this complete.

* They know you are always there for them.  Even if it isn't in the manner they want, it is always ultimately in the manner they need.
* They know that no matter what they have someone to reach out to that will make them smile.
* They know they have someone who will stand up for them and defend them no matter how silly or minor the issue.
* They know that they can get advice from you at any time - sometimes even when they do not want it or agree with it.  Yet somehow they seem to always come around to your wisdom.
* They know MOST IMPORTANTLY that they are loved.  Unconditionally, unequivocally and FOREVER.

So Happy Mothers Day my love.  It is your day.

You're the world to me.  I love you more than anything in the world.