Letting Go - They will never have to....

I know we have had a few "other" things come up in the past few days, but this thought crossed my mind last week and I felt it was necessary to update your blog with this thought. I wish there was more I could do on the other thing, I'll tap into my Superman powers when the time is right. I promise.

Most of my thoughts this week are part of your relationship with the girls. I watched how hard it was for you to leave the older one at colleg this week. I saw the unusually long hug your gave the younger one when she got home yesterday. So I know how hard it is going to be for you when they both are off at school. I know that is a year away, but I thought you would feel better knowing a few things about them before they go.

First of all they will always need you. I find it quite amazing that there is such a huge part of them that is really a part of you. They count on you for more than "mothering care", they count on you for continuing to remind them who they are and how amazing they have become as young ladies. While they may fight with you and argue with you, they only seem really pleased with themselves when they notice you approve. Not in a bad way, but in a good way. If they stumble and correct, they wait for your hug or smile to let them know they "righted" whatever was wrong. It is really amazing.

They count on you to be their ear. someone to listen to them gripe, take their side, counsel them on how ot respond and often times do the difficult things they really do not want to do on their own. You are like a really strong set of shouldrs upon which they can rest and get strength from at any time. They can always call you, talk to you or laugh with you when they truly need calming down. That is something they will always be able to rely on - no matter how old they are or where they live.

So why does this have anything to do with "letting" go? I guess because they know that neither of you ever have to let go. While the direct hold will change over time. There will be no letting go with your daughters. There will be no najor changes in theior life that won't have support. Therw will be no times when they wonder what they will have to do next. They will always have you. While "letting go" is part of life. You have with your usual style made it different for our girls. Maybe we should just call it "letting loose".

I am sorry that I missed a week in your blog. Things are just so insane right now. With everything going on, it just never seems like the right thing to do or the right time to do it. I'll be better. I hope that I cna use this to keep your spirits up over the next few months. i know they willbe trying times for you.


You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.

I would have made you up....

I hope this makes up for missing an update last week, but at the time it just didn't feel like you needed a blog entry form me. So this week I wrote you a poem of sorts.

========

If you weren't real, I would have made you up

If I hadn't found you, I would have never stopped looking
If I hadn't kissed you, my lips would still be numb
If I hadn't fallen in love with you, My heart would still be empty

If you weren't real, I would have made you up

If I'd never seen you, my eyes would still be sore
If I hadn't felt you, my hands would still be cold
If I hadn't had time with you, I wouldn't know what it was to miss someone

If you weren't real, I would have made you up

I would have picked those eyes, so I could see perfection at any time
I would have shaped those curves, so I could hold you in that way
I would have made you that kind of warm, so i would never be cold
I would have made your arms the exact length they are, so they fit around me perfectly

If you weren't real, I would have made you up

Your voice would sound just like it does, so when i heard "I love you" it would always sound perfect
You would smell just like you do, so that I always could find something sweet
You would taste just like you do, so that when I rested my lips on your body it would always taste perfect
You would sleep just the way you do, so that when I needed to find an angel I would know just where one was

If you weren't real, I would have made you up

I would have made you so funny, so that when I needed to smile I always had someone to amuse me
I would have made you so smart, so that when I needed challenged you could question me
I would have made you so charming, so all of my friends would be in awe of the person with me
I would have made you so beautiful, so that everyone noticed you wherever I went

Lucky for me, you found me
Even luckier for me, I found you
Because had I made you up, no one would have believed such a perfect being existed
Because had I made you up, people would have asked me to do it again and again

If you weren't real, I would have made you up

Lucky for me, I didn't have to

================


You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.