I know we have had a few "other" things come up in the past few days, but this thought crossed my mind last week and I felt it was necessary to update your blog with this thought. I wish there was more I could do on the other thing, I'll tap into my Superman powers when the time is right. I promise.
Most of my thoughts this week are part of your relationship with the girls. I watched how hard it was for you to leave the older one at colleg this week. I saw the unusually long hug your gave the younger one when she got home yesterday. So I know how hard it is going to be for you when they both are off at school. I know that is a year away, but I thought you would feel better knowing a few things about them before they go.
First of all they will always need you. I find it quite amazing that there is such a huge part of them that is really a part of you. They count on you for more than "mothering care", they count on you for continuing to remind them who they are and how amazing they have become as young ladies. While they may fight with you and argue with you, they only seem really pleased with themselves when they notice you approve. Not in a bad way, but in a good way. If they stumble and correct, they wait for your hug or smile to let them know they "righted" whatever was wrong. It is really amazing.
They count on you to be their ear. someone to listen to them gripe, take their side, counsel them on how ot respond and often times do the difficult things they really do not want to do on their own. You are like a really strong set of shouldrs upon which they can rest and get strength from at any time. They can always call you, talk to you or laugh with you when they truly need calming down. That is something they will always be able to rely on - no matter how old they are or where they live.
So why does this have anything to do with "letting" go? I guess because they know that neither of you ever have to let go. While the direct hold will change over time. There will be no letting go with your daughters. There will be no najor changes in theior life that won't have support. Therw will be no times when they wonder what they will have to do next. They will always have you. While "letting go" is part of life. You have with your usual style made it different for our girls. Maybe we should just call it "letting loose".
I am sorry that I missed a week in your blog. Things are just so insane right now. With everything going on, it just never seems like the right thing to do or the right time to do it. I'll be better. I hope that I cna use this to keep your spirits up over the next few months. i know they willbe trying times for you.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
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