Tonight I am a Doctor - Take My Medical Advice

We are well over 100 blog entries and I have officially realized I have no actual medical facts represented in almost 2 years. So I searched long and hard and I found out that we are in fact very healthy. We do the one thing that can directly attribute itself to reduced stress and better health.

What is that thing we do you ask? Holding hands. Yup - medically speaking it is good for you. Very good for you. But it isn't just holding hands with anyone - nope not even close. It is spouses holding hands that holds such power. Now you may be asking yourself - where doe she find time to make up this crazy stuff? Is he just trying to get me to hold his hand as away to start some kind of weird foreplay? Has he washed those hands? Well I didn't make it up. It is the start of foreplay. And yes washed them 7 times today.

It is a tested medical fact. Here is what the "scientists" did to prove how importance holding hands actually was to healthy lifestyles.

First the hooked wives up to electrodes (nothing kinky it is science after all). Then they showed them a screen with a warning about a small shock they were about to receive or to trick them by telling them no shock was coming. On their own the ladies became very stressed at anticipating the pending shock. But while holding their husbands hands they were far less stressed. The husbands simple act of hand holding calmed them significantly.

Just to be sure the did the same test with the wives holding random strangers hands. I imagine they didn't get Bradley Cooper to hold their hands, but I am certain they were some re-assuring strapping handsome fellows intended to give the wives some of the same effects as the doting, loving husbands who have given their lives to protecting these fine ladies. Guess what? The strangers - no matter how handsome - didn't give the wives the same calming effect. Why? Because holding the RIGHT hand is the key. It has to be a loving hand (and no jokes about how you could "love" Bradley Cooper).

I do have to add that "happy" couples performed better than "less than happy" couples. But this is actual science, so all avenues had to be explored. To prove I didn't make this up in some lame attempt to get you to hold my hand more often I have provide the link for you to read. It came from WebMD - the most reputable source in medicine on the net. ( read article here)

So as we head off to vacation and to alleviate stress in the interest of better health (stress leads to overeating and lack of exercise) we should do the following:

• Hold hands in the car on the way to Savannah
• Hold Hands on the beach
• Hold hands at the pool
  
• Hold hands under the table at dinner
  
• Hold hands as we walk somewhere (well everywhere)
  
• Holds hands while we kiss (this one with the "two handed" hand hold)
  

So there you have it. Medical facts and a plan for better health. Who knew it could be so easy.

You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.

The Superman Update

It has been sometime since we heard from Superman. He is still there. He still rules my thoughts. He still helps me decide. He still helps me act. He never goes away.

Superman got smarter over the past few months. He seems to have figured out a “secret formula” that makes him even stronger. He can manipulate time.

Honestly, Superman wants to master time travel, but apparently it isn't possible (although I saw some guy on TV this week who claims to seriously have mastered it). He would take you back in time and “fix” a few moments for you. He might make your marriage proposal just a bit more special. He might have removed the phrase “nothing in common” from the past 20 years. He may even have stopped someone from a miserable Badger game experience. He might help us render this “when our daughter should have started her schooling” dilemma. He might even have stopped us from making a few of our “lessor” financial decisions. However, he is finding that the need to travel back in time isn't so important. In fact now if he did he would simply travel back in time to enjoy some of the great moments of the past 21 years. What he focuses on now is manipulating time.

Superman often finds himself overwhelmed by a lack of time. Too much to do. Too much going on. Too many aspirations and not enough time to make them all happen. He deals with it everyday. Somehow he manages it. He gets what needs to get done completed and despite constant whining about his lack of time he gets things finished. Maybe that is why he is Superman after all.

However, he has found that there is certain kind of time he requires the most. Time with you. Time just spent “being with you”. It makes all other time manageable. With it he can manipulate the cost of time. He can manage the lack of time. It makes all other time seem reasonable.

So what does time with you mean? Is it hours a day? Is it minutes? Seconds? Nope. It is just time. Time spent holding hands. Time spent hugging. Time back to back at different computers doing different things. Time in the car. Time on the couch. Time just knowing you are there. There is no better time.

With that kind of “you” time all other time seems less important. Less stressful. Superman still has moments where his lack of time causes him to stare off into nowhere, but the suddenly the “you time” makes it all OK. All manageable. With you time Superman can manipulate his expectations and efforts on the “other time” so long as he knows there is plenty of “you time” coming soon.

So why is all of this important? Why should you care?

The primary reason is to remind you that I need my “you time”. That time with you is what makes me happy. It makes me strong. It makes me Superman. I can assure you that I value my time with you. Every second, no matter how small. That without it I wouldn't be who I am. I wouldn't be Superman. I'd be just some regular guy.

I figure at this point you probably need some examples. So this past weekend (which was WAY too short I might add) I took some notes. I had a big time constraint with our business and my new business on the horizon. It was causing me great stress. But with my new found power I used “you time” to make things all better.

What were the “you time” examples?

• 15 minutes playing Rock Band with you and the girls
• A prolonged discussion on the way to the dry cleaners about being a father

• A trip to Best Buy

• Watching Harper's Island together

• Walking into Sendik's and discussing the potential movie quotes from “The Hangover”

• A conversation about the “adulthood” of our oldest daughter and how hard it must be for her to grapple with becoming and adult (and how hard it is for us I might add)

• Listening to you and the home re-modeler discuss the new rooms – you always sound so confident

• Your smile when you walked in the house after exercising on Friday – I came down very stressed saw that smile and suddenly it went away

• The moment you came back into the hair salon and resolved my angst over you being “missing”

• Moving furniture around and watching your mind work on how you needed everything to be placed just perfectly

• Watching how proud of yourself you were when we finished with the furniture

So there you have it. My “you time” is what gives brings Superman to life. Gives him powers to manage all the other time. I love time with you.

I hope this all made sense to you. I just re-read it and it seems somewhat confusing. But I promise you that the entire concept is very important to me. It is exactly why I look forward to the next 50 years with you. We will have lots of “time” together. Some “time” will make big memories and some “time” will just make small memories. But the “time” itself will bring us life.

It gets harder and harder to leave you when I have to go away.

You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.

Censored: Its about "SEX"

It happens more often than you think sweetie. Those moments where I catch that glimpse of you and it is all I can do to keep my hands off you. Sometimes its the eyes, sometimes the curves, sometimes the smile, sometimes the way you move....it is always something. So this blog entry is essentially not for the young children to read, because it is some thoughts about how sexy you are to me.

I guess I am pretty lucky. After 21 years together (recently celebrated first date) I still get incredibly jazzed thinking of you. There are so many little things I am appreciative of in this area. So without getting graphic I figured I would share them with you.

First there is your sex appeal. You know you have it. I especially like that part. I like even more when you choose to use it. You could pretty get me anytime you turn on the sex appeal. Smiling just right, moving just right, kissing me just right. You know all the triggers and suddenly I am jello with desire. If you ever can use your "control" this is the one area. I mean seriously how many things have we purchased on the "you can have sex any time you want line"? I still fall for it, because frankly the thought of having it is often worth whatever I am deciding to trade for it.

Lets talk about the kissing. Wow. It took about 5 hours into our first date for me to figure this one out. One kiss and I was done. You seem to have this amazing softness with your kiss. A sweet taste in your kiss. I never feel closer to you than when we kiss. If you really don't do a good job of openly showing your emotion, you should know that you can't hide it when you kiss me. In the history of kissing couples, we rank number one. I have officially confirmed this with a number of academic sources - each agrees with me. It's official. I don't say "I Love the kissing" for nothing honey, I LOVE the kissing.

Without getting graphic, we should talk quickly about the sex. In 20+ years we have certainly completely figured each other out. We know each other so well. Yet you have always found ways to make it better. I know you do that for me. To make me happy. It makes it even better. It turns out that many couples lose this after 20 years. Some turn to gross kinky stuff, some turn to affairs. Yet we have not done either. We keep making something good better and yet still keep it within limits of true love. another perfect aspect of our relationship.

So I guess I may not have made my point. I don't know. But you have to know how amazed I am by you and how sexy I find you. It goes way deeper than just physical, so much is just what we have between us. It remains an important part of us and I truly love that.

You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.

The "Little Things"

The little things truly make the difference in life. I realized that over the past two plus weeks that I was home. There were so many little things that reminded me how much I love you and want to always be with you. So many things that normally get taken for granted that really make life worth living and make our lives together so special. So I figured I would list them in hopes that either you noticed them too or we will both be more aware of things like this in the future.


The first is a "Category" of little things of sorts. They all fit in to the whole going to bed and waking up area. I LOVE the nightgowns. You simply have no idea how much I love them. They make you look so pretty and sexy. Plus they give you such a "soft" appearance and I just love that look. I also love the goodnight kiss part and the long snuggle that takes place right before we both adjust to our "sleeping positions". I love your routine with the TV. Volume to 10, sleep timer one and remote in regular position so you know just where it is when you wake up int he morning. Finally, I love the waking up in your arms. It is the only way to start the day.

I'll keep with the whole category theme and switch to the couch time watching TV. The new couch has given us a whole new dynamic because it allows far grater snuggling and being near each other. It makes a whole different set of noises that I have to work hard to avoid while you sleep so pretty while I am watching sportscenter (ok I am really not) and don't want you to wake up. It gives me a whole new position to rub your feet in and is much more comfortable to perform foot rubbing on. I loved watching 7 episodes of "Harper's Island" with you even though we hadn't planned to do so at that time. It is the perfect spending time location. And last but not least - I just loved seeing our oldest baby curled up in your arms.

The next category is the study/office. You have no idea how I enjoy having you there while I work. Even if you are watching dumb TV and making fun of my phone conversations. To be able to spend 8 hours with you and get paid for it it the perfect scenario. Your superior computer is fun too. You make such funny jokes about its superiority. And the music you play - while annoying - makes me laugh.

Dinner time is a whole different category. No I don't say much at dinner, but I love watching you and the girls go about this circular conversations you have about completely random topics. Our daughters are remarkably consistent in their dinner roles and you do such a fun job of conversation starting. The recurring dinner themes (friends, family, poop, the dog and periods) will be remember almost as readily as the stories and jokes themselves. I do admit that the chairs are still way uncomfortable for me, that probably will never change.

The shower joke always makes me laugh. "When are you going to take a shower?" Um, I don't know I have been waiting for the signal for an hour. This little process has grown on me over the years. It has moved from a pain in the neck to amusing and expected.

So over the past two weeks I got to be reminded of the cool little things that make us so happy, so a good family and so in love. I miss them already and it has only be 48 hours since I left.

You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.

Please Turn Red....

And so one of my new favorite songs goes....

"I could drive
This road with my eyes closed
Know every part home
The three miles
My place to yours"

I could have you know. Straight down Euless Main St., turn right on Trinity Blvd, left on 157/Collins and then at the 2nd light there you were. Probably the biggest risk was "would my car start" or "did I have gas money". But I always knew it wouldn't have been that bad of a walk had I been forced to do so. And had I been forced to do so I would have just to get to you.

"I used to fly
And be at your door in a matter of seconds
You'd be outside waiting by the road"

Maybe you wouldn't be waiting by the road. But I knew you were anxiously waiting for me. Like we were so dying to see each other even though we had probably been on the phone or only apart for a few hours. If you called and said you were home, I wasted no time in getting there. Being with you was all that mattered. Being together was the only important thing.

"And we wouldn't mind getting lost
And at every light where the roads will cross
Thinking in our heads"

And once we did get lost. In all the years since then I have been so frustrated when I was lost, but not this time. This time seemed so romantic. So memorable. Like all that mattered was that we were together. No matter where we were (or weren't) we were together. Hand in hand as we drove. I know now after all these years that you weren't ever lost, you had to know where we were even then.

"Please turn red
Another light is another minute
Another kiss that you knew I meant
Please turn red

Grant me just another second
One more chance to gaze into those innocent eyes
Just another red light"

Have you ever thought what amazing car romance we have had. The holding hands. The rubbing of the neck. The kisses, the holding each other's arm. The light touch of your fingers on my forearm. And yes kisses at stop lights. I love to pull your head onto my shoulder while I drive, just enough to make it "hug-like". I long for a good red light.

There are a few more verses to the song. Some about bad times and good. Each finishing with the "please turn red" chorus. It so reminds me of us. It is very romantic.

However, it reminds me that after all these years so much is still true about us. All we want is to be together. We wait for moments we spend together. No time away is good time. We always want the other one around. That has not changed since I took that drive down Euless Main St to Trinity to 157/Collins. I think that is so nice. So amazing.

And the car romance continues to this day. We still hold hands. Still kiss at stop signs/lights. A trip to Madison or Chicago isn't a task, it is an opportunity for a "car date". Some quiet time together where we can listen to the songs on the radio and have some romance. It is one of those very cool "us" times no one else understands.

Wanna go for a drive?

You're the world to me. I love more than anything in the world.