Undressed

What a terrific weekend we had. I enjoyed every minute with you. There is nothing better than enjoying your time with someone you love so much.

I was quite surprised when you advised me that I had never told you about the "naked" thing. To me it seemed so obvious. But I guess after 20 years together I am still baffled by your humility with regard to your beauty. I have been looking at you for more than 2 decades now and I still always enjoy what I see.

If you remember I used to make you listen to a particular song by Lloyd Cole. In fact TWO Lloyd Cole songs. Both remind me of your beauty and one is very relevant to this past weekends conversation.

The first song is "Perfect Skin" (Perfect Skin Video on Youtube). Here are some of the lyrics:

she says turn on the light, otherwise it can't be seen
she's got cheekbones like geometry and eyes like sin
and she's sexually enlightened by cosmopolitan

when she smiles my way
my eyes go out in vain
for her perfect skin
yeah that's perfect skin

I know there are songs where you read something into the lyrics that may or may not be there, but to me there is a clear reference to how I have always seen you and what really attracted me to you. Do you remember that picture I had of you in the blue shirt/sweater and jeans sitting on the bed? You had such smoldering sexy eyes in that picture. An amazing sex appeal. You were smiling in a shy but sexy kind of way. Just the way you always did and always have - and still do. You looked perfect in your skin. You had "perfect skin".

The rest of the song really talks about how he has a crush on the weather girl on TV. Some random unobtainable person. While you weren't random at the time, you were sort of unobtainable. All I had was a picture. I had no idea I would ever get you back. But I knew how beautiful you were - it was evident in the picture and in your eyes.

I still remember you in the dress on our first date. I remember seeing you in a bathing suit for first time. I remember the purple and black dress. I remember the overalls. More than a few pairs of jeans that really showed your famous backside. I remember some of the suits you wore to work. The dress your wore at Sean's wedding. All covering your "perfect skin".

The second song is a bit different. I know you remember it, because I know you didn't really like the song. That's ok, it had real meaning to me. The song is called "Undressed". It is very fitting for our conversation this weekend. This one I show all the lyrics for, but I suggest you ignore the first line (I think he put it in there for rhyming purposes):

You look so good when you're depressed
Better even in your current state of undress
Tears caressing me like rain
And I'm not even thinking, I feel fine in your pain

The coolest thing I ever saw
You were sitting there smoking my cigarettes
You were naked on the bare stone floor
You looked at me to say don't guess
I was only watching, yes I love you more undressed

Is it really such a sin?
Should I feel some kind of shame?
Will I truly go to hell?

Oh you never lock the bathroom door
Should I be embarrassed when Ive seen a hundred times before
How do married couples cope
Should I say excuse me darling, I don't know

We could disconnect the telephone
Just sit around and mess around
And tell your ma we went to rome, tennessee
And I'm not even drinking, I feel fine, its scary

Is it really such a sin?
Should I feel some kind of shame?
Will I truly go to hell?
Oh well

The coolest thing I ever saw
You were sitting there smoking my cigarettes
You were naked on the bare stone floor
You looked at me to say don't guess
I was only watching, is it bad that I should love you best
Undressed

Yes I remember the first time. It was in my apartment. It may have happened before that but that one time is the remember. So many thought were rushing through my head. How could anyone look that good? Is it wrong that I was so enamoured with you? I know I love her all the time, but man do I love her now! How can we just spend forever just like this? And I'm not even drinking, I feel fine, its scary.

There is kind of a dual meaning in this song. One that also made you more beautiful. I knew I was the first person you felt that comfortable around. The first person who had seen you more than just naked, but "undressed". It was really confirmation that you loved me. I was special in your life. I was in a place you had never let anyone else.

I knew that we would be together forever. It wasn't just the sex, it was the love. (ok not that I had any problems with the sex part). It was WE had become together. Honestly, it was when I really felt like we were more than a couple, but we were an "us".

So the next time you feel uncomfortable around me, or close that door, or make some comment about how you think you look in various stages of "undress" - think hard about what I see. I see so much more than your "perfect skin" or your body or even your face. I see you. I see you as part of me. I see you as who you are inside and outside. I see love.

I love you more than anything in the world.