"normal"

It has been an interesting few weeks. I am pretty certain we were not really prepared for the change the nephew would cause our family. It really does make everything different. Meals are different, quick decisions to run to the store are different, and even small ad-hoc conversatios are different. Ironically I don't think he sees just how important our marriage is in the whole equation.

How could he not? Doesn't he notice we still hold hands in the car? Doesn't he realize that we as a family make concessions for each other to make one another happy? Could his own representation of a marriage have really been that lame?

It is the "us" portion I don't think he truly grasps. The portion of the family that is centered around the fact that we recognize that "us" is as important as "we". I am shocked he has not picked up on that. So maybe we need to step it up a notch. Maybe we don't include him in a few thinsg and get back to "normal". But what is "normal"?

I think "normal" to us is different that it is to others. "Normal" to us includes our Saturday morning trips to get coffee. Do you remember how far we had to travel for it in Arlington? I looked forward to that trip. Now I love it when we go get coffee and we sit in the Starbucks for 30 minutes or so just talking. The best part is that you don't even like coffee and you go with me anyway.

"Normal" to us includes the family watching our shows together. It is during that couch time when we have our best conversatino, we do some feet rubbing and we are all really close. This weekend when I was sitting in the chair in that store saying "hey lets get this" I knew all along that it would pale in comparison to my spot on the end of the couch with you right next to me. That is exactly where I would prefer to be.

"Normal" to us is you and I sneaking off for a Fridya ro Saturday night dinner togther while we force the girls to find plns on their own. Then we can hold hands across the table and have that kind of converstaion private only to us. Think of how many times we have disucssed the past or the future while we had a nite to eat and held hands across the table.

So how do we get back to "normal"? Are we no "normal" any longer? I don't know what the answer is but the examples I gave above are what I love about our marriage and the things I look forward to doing with you. Doing them with the single most important person in my life. My wife.

Wanna do some "normal" stuff this weekend my love? If so consider it a date.

I love you so much.

Tears of Joy

Crying is such a funny emotion. Most times you see someone cry you assume it is because they are sad. There are often times when you see someone cry and think they may be sad but in reality they are happy. You have to really love someone to have that happen.

I saw you cry a few times this weekend. I started out feeling like you were sad. In some small way you were sad, but in reality they were true tears of joy. While you were sad that the girls have grown up and you won't have those sweet babies anymore, you also have to be happy that you were able to provide that life for them. Yes we will miss them as little girls, but we are so proud of them as young ladies.

They were so cute in those videos. I can't believe we didn't film them more. While I swear I thought I would remember every moment vividly, it was nice to see the tapes and be reminded how adorable they were as kids. They were so happy. They were always happy. You made their lives such that they were always happy.

I figure you will have this crying dilemma quite often over the next few months. So remember that I will always be there for you. You can cry on my shoulder. I will get you a tissue. I will hug you and let you hide your tears in the hug. Its OK for you to cry. You have created so much joy that your tears are warranted.

We should be prepared fro more tears in the future. We have graduations, weddings, love life and grand-babies to shed tears of joy over for the next 50 years or so. After that we will probably be able to "hide our own Easter eggs" an not know what we are crying about anyway.

So the next time you shed some tears, don't worry they are tears of joy. You aren't sad. You are really just happy and I will be there to share your happiness. Tissue and hug all ready for you.

I love you Sweetie. Thanks for making this life so full of joy.

Coming Home

Its 7 AM here in London.

By the time you get up I will already be on the plane home. Home sweetie.

I can't wait to see you, I have missed you so. I love you so much. Being 4,000 miles away from you is not a good thing. Never.

I am counting down the hours until I see you.

All my love.

What it Means to be a Super Man

I have to start out by telling you that I am a bit uncertain that this will translate from my head to this page. In my head it really sounded good. So here goes...

Having the nephew at our house has very often given me thought about this concept of what it takes to be a man. You know it is a recurring topic for me. What does being a man mean? How do we get to be men? I think I have the process figured out. I have you to thank for it.

As you are keenly aware, I am or at least consider myself to be a "super man". While it started as a joke for the girls, over time it has become some kind of symbolism for my life. I take great pride in how I behave, provide for my family and live my life as a man. Before you I didn't care about any of that. Now that I have you I am truly Superman. It just took time to hone my skills.

Being man requires a few super powers of sorts. Men need courage. Men need strength. Men need passion. Men to be providers. Men need to love someone on whom they can shower their super powers.

I think I am courageous. While I may not be adventurous, I have courage. There is nothing I would not do for you or the girls. There is nothing I would not make every attempt to accomplish for you. Be it an difficult phone call I need to make or addressing a matter that is uncomfortable - that is my role. That is my job as the man in our family. There is little room for cowardice. It just doesn't serve the ones I Love to be a coward.

Before you I was a coward. You gave me all the courage I possess.

I get stronger all the time. Not physical strength, more mental. It is every bit the man's role to bear the burdens that protect his family. To truly bear burden, one must have strength. While Superman can't really lift a burning building, he can make sure that those he protects are not harmed by the flames. If something is wrong the man must find and fix the problem. He uses his strength to protect the ones he loves. It is an essential element of being a "super man".

Without you in my life I was a weakling. You give me my strength.

I feel really strong about having passion. Passion give you the drive and desire to create better lives for those you love. There is nothing wrong with being passionate about the love you have for your wife and children. Nothing wrong with often feeling the overwhelming love and passion you have for them. Nothing wrong with a sudden moment when you see your wife and are amazed by her beauty. Or look at your daughters and feel compelled to hug them. Only a true man can have that kind of passion. Passion helps remove that self involvement so many so-called men find themselves caught p in all the time. Passion keeps drive in relationships. Men without passion are not men at all.

My passion for you grows every day. You made me realize what being truly passionate about something is all about.

Men should take care of people. It is our most basic instinct. Pure and simple men are providers. Not just in terms of belongings and stuff. More in terms of safety. Men MUST be the kind of people who ensure that most basic needs of the family are met. Men should be compelled to provide the kind of safety required for the ones they love.

Before you I couldn't even provide for myself. You made me understand my role in life.

Finally men need to love someone enough to use all these super powers on. None of these super powers can be possible without love. Some men never figure this out. Only something as powerful as love can make a a "super man". It is the single greatest thing in a real man's life. Some men can get that kind of power without a family. This "super man" found it in his wife and family.

I thought I knew love before you, but I didn't. Nothing is more dear to me than the love we share, You brought me love to fuel my super powers. You brought me the only real love I have ever known.

So there they are. The super powers needed to be a "super man". I am Superman. You made me that way. You are my courage, my strength, my passion, the one for whom I provide and most of all my true love.

I love you more than anything in the world.

I hope it sounded as cool on paper as it did in my tired head. Now if this snoring bozo next to me would close his death breath mouth I might be able to get some sleep.

I love you.

The Last Perfect Thing

Arizona was really fun. I guess we should really cherish the times we get to spend together as a family. Our wonderful girls will not alwyas be able to vacation with us. I am quite certain you will always try to have us all together, but one day they will have families of their own. Who knows, I could be wrong.

However, this post is really all about us. About our 19 years together as a married couple. 19 years! That is a huge accomplishment for us both. I know we say it every year but it still rings true. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE thought we would make it 19 weeks or 19 months. And here we stand after 19 years together. Still the envy of our friends and just about anyone we meet.

While the band The Baby's were not known for their lyrics (they were kind of bubble gummy), they do have a fitting line for us from the song "Every Time I Think of You". In the song he says "....Cause people say our love affair will never last / but a love like ours will never pass / And baby they were wrong not knowing how our love would grow....". I guess it always seemed like a silly lyric before now, but it is really true for us. We have made it through so much on basically one thing. This amazing, ever growing, life lasting love affair with each other. A love that as the song ends "will never pass".

I can't imagine how other couples can make it through their marriages/relationships without what we have. How do they not want to hold each others hands? How can they not long for a soft loving kiss? How can they not want that extra 5 minutes of snuggle time in the morning? Why are we always the only ones holding hands across a table in a restaurant? They seem like such simple things. So easy to take for granted. But I really feel like it is those little tiny gestures that make our love such a grand gesture and so powerful.

There are other things that even we take for granted that seem so incredibly remote to other couples. For example, I look at you and still see the most beautiful woman in the world. In fact you just seem to get prettier and prettier all the time. I still notice little things about the way you look that amaze me so much. I only recently (in the past year or so) noticed that your eyes change colors ever so slightly. I find new things to enjoy about your smile (like he said in that movie "my wife has 600 different smiles and every one can light up your life"). Sometimes your smile looks so childishly innocent I was to kiss you top of your head. Sometimes is has a cool sex appeal that makes me want to kiss you all over. Sometimes it just makes me feel happier. You are like a fine wine aging to perfection and I get to benefit from it all the time.

So how can this get any better? How can what is essentially perfect not have reached its peak and have no where to go but down? I have no idea, but maybe worrying about that makes us not fully take this wonderful love for granted. Maybe it is that simple fact that keeps us striving to make it better and better. Maybe that is what eveyrone else is missing in their relationship. Maybe that is the "thing" we discovered that no one else has figured out. I think knowing that WE can always find ways to improve what we have is what sets us apart.

I could list yet another song and a lyric that I think fits, but it might finally push you over the "song edge". But hey this is what the whole "blog" thing was all about right? The song is "The Last Perfect Thing" by Wire Train. I have played it before for you - I know I have. But the title alone reminds me of us. We are truly the "last perfect thing" and as the songs says - "everyday the bell rings and I awake to the last perfect thing".

Happy anniversary my love - I can't wait for the next 100 years with you. And I promise that every day my love grows and grows.

I love you.

Last Perfect Thing video on YouTube

Every Time I think of You video on YouTube