In Your Image

The risk in referring to the kids in this forum is risk of the loss of anonymity in such a public forum. To retain that anonymity I will refer to the kids as the “older one” and the “younger one”. Yes, I know they each have terrific names, but you never know who is reading.

My thought for this post hit me on Sunday evening while we all sat in the family room. The “older one” was engrossed in Cold Case and the “younger one” sat in the basement on her computer sulking a bit about her “forgotten” homework. As I watched them throughout the evening the reflection of you was all over them. While neither is exactly you (and who is right?), they each have so much of you in them. While I wouldn’t call them dependent on you, they each feel so comfortable with you they can really do or say anything around you. What a nice life they have thanks to you.

The “older one” wants so much to please you. You can see it so clearly in how she “joins in” on every joke you tell and how even the slightest inkling of disappointing you hurts her so. She cuddles only you. She smiles at you just a little differently than she does for anyone else. She hugs you first, kisses you first and tells you that she loves you so easily it is hard for me to not feel a little bit jealous. There are truly times when I think she would crawl back into the womb knowing how much you protect her. I am quite certain that the bond shared between you is something that she will carry with her forever. Somehow through all that she has been exposed to in her short life, you have made that beautiful little girl a confident young woman.

The “younger one” is much more like you - steadfastly independent, quick witted, funny and simply gorgeous. She even has your facial expressions. Like you she is somewhat reservedly confident, like a humble beauty that only a few can see even though it is always there. She can take care of herself, but readily will allow you to care for her. She can think for herself, but readily would allow you to make any decision on her behalf. I don’t think you really understand the extreme level of trust she has in you. Different from the “older one” she never questions you; to her you are always right. She shares and cherishes your little “inside jokes” and the fact that you both can tease others so well. She feels more comfortable around you than with anyone else, with you she can just be who she wants to be and you accept that.

You have done such a fabulous job raising them. While there is no clear text book for child rearing, you seem to do it with such an effortless flare. Almost every goal you established for them has come true. You kept it simple and they thrive because of it. You simply love them so much it forms a cocoon like atmosphere that can never allow them harm. Your goal of having them be able to look in the mirror and like what they see has become a reality. It has done so because you made it so. While they deserve some credit, you deserve more.

Our family is the family it is because you have taken such care to make it so. I love you so much and am so thankful for what you have given to all of us. Few people will ever accomplish in their lives what you have with our little girls.

I love you.