About 14 minutes....

So you just left about, oh say, 14 minutes ago.  There is no dog and the work I thought would take an hour took about 5 minutes.  Which worries me a bit because sometimes this whole work thing seems to easy right now, but oh well.  The key is that right now I am utterly alone.  Not a bad thing, just not very normal.

So I figured it was time that I put into your blog something that occurred to me recently and I can't seem to get out of my head.  It is hopelessly romantic, but a bit weird all the same.  Again you have been gone only 14 minutes or so when I dropped everything to type this, so it really means something to me.

Remember when my brother was here and he was telling us about what happened?  The whole LMN version of the true story of someone else's life?  Burner phones?  I swear the thought never crosses my mind.  I mean where the fuck do you buy one? I feel so bad for him, but I feel so guilty all the same.

You see my love, I have no freaking clue how to associate with his pains.  I am so freaking spoiled by you.  I can't imagine not being completely with the right person.  I can't fathom not being happy or best friends.  I can't imagine not putting all of my efforts in us.  I just can't hear what he has to say and feel like he thinks I am being compassionate.  Hell maybe that's what he needs.  A guy who he thinks will always fall on the side of "fix it" because he has it so good himself and take his side.  Got me, but I really felt kind of embarrassed when he was telling us.

Why?  Because I know that every day I wake up next to the one person I want to make happy today.  Amazingly, she wakes up next to the same guy.  How can we make each other happy today?  Every day.  Like in some scary way this has become a textbook for "how to really enjoy being married."  How fucking lucky are we?  Our riches of marriage abound.

Still doesn't change the fact that I felt weird the whole time.  Like in some way shape or form if I had leaned over to kiss you, it would have made him think I was showing off.  Again just a weird thought.  I'll find a way to positively communicate with my brother, he needs the helping hand.  But, I can't stress enough how awkward the conversations feel.

So I guess the whole point of this blog is to tell you that I don't take what we have for granted.  I can't imagine how any other human can be as happy as I am right now.  How for almost 30 years, being happy was an after thought.  It just happens for me.  Because I have you.  I am pretty sure you are the same.  Even the worst moments of the past 30 years have been fleeting and quickly replaced by moments of "Us".

Thank you baby.  I just pray that our girls find the same.  Its really pretty great, I must say.

Now focus on your nails.  Because now it's been 30 minutes.  You won't be back for an hour. Yikes.  And its too early for sports on TV.  Ugh.

You're the world to me.  I love you more than anything in the world.