Hello Lois Lane

I think this is a blog post you may read over and over again. Because, I don't think I have ever had anything more important to say to you.

The events of the past week have been odd. I have never really been sick before, never been hospitalized, never had to have someone care for me for so long and never needed someone else so much. So if anything, I am a bit out of sorts. I am having trouble with this role so to speak. But it has certainly made me think. Think hard.

I have to admit the oddest moment of the past week was the trip to the hospital with Jim. I was in so much pain, but something else was consuming my every thought. It wasn't "was I going to be OK". It was "oh my god, how badly must I have scared her" or "oh my god, how could I do this to her". How odd is that. I felt guilty about how I called you and how abruptly I hung up. There was no real regard for me. I finally get into the hospital room and all I can really do is ask the nurse where is my wife? Or exclaim, I need my wife. And it wasn't for me. I wanted to make sure you were ok. As I looked out the emergency room door for you to come in, I just wanted to see the look on your face. I wanted to make sure you weren't crying or upset. Because if you were, I would never have forgiven myself. When you came in and held my hand and you were ok, only then could I focus on making myself feel better.

So why is all of this important? Because I have to have you know that I love you that much. That nothing - absolutely nothing - is more important to me than you.

So when I tell you things like "I am head over heels, puppy dog in love with you", trust me it is really how I feel. It is so far short of finding a real way to tell you what is truly in my heart. But knowing that even when I thought I was having a heart attack, all I could think about was "did I cause you harm" is a pretty good measure of my real feelings. Knowing that how you feel is so often more important to me than how I feel, might be a pretty good way to measure my love for you.

We are going to live a long time together. In fact we are a few days from celebrating 22 years of blissful marriage to each. It is the start of forever. Our forever together. And you will know that you are loved every moment of that forever. Loved more than anyone has ever been loved.

I survived and I may very well actually be Superman, who knows. But I realized something. Superman needed Lois Lane. without her his heart broke, he had no powers and he was just ordinary. So you my love are officially my Lois Lane. And I will always be your Superman.

I love you so much. Trust me I have the rest of forever to actually find a way to put it into words.

You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.