Knowing You Are There

Sometimes it is difficult to come up with something for thsi blog that isn't simply a different way to say I love you or that you are beautiful or that you amaze me. So many times I start to write something and then think "didn't I just do a blog on that?". Tonight I started out that way. Call it writers block.

Then I looked down at the other end of the couch. It is Tuesday night aand it is kind of a night like any other night. You guys went and volunteered, I cooked dinner, we had ice cream delivered to us and then retired to the couch. A pretty routine night by any definition.

Then it kind of hit me. Why was I in such a good mood. Nothing spectacular happened today. Nothing shocking took place. But suddenly I knew why I was pleased.

I looked down at the end of the couch and there you were. Sleeping. Pillows under your head. Nothing special other than my usual enjoying seeing you sleep. But what is special is that simply having you so near me and being here with you is what made me smile. You are wrapped in the very blanket I got for you to sleep on the couch with every night. You look content, safe and comfortable.

It is all of that little stuff that makes me so happy right now. That I am here on the couch with you while you do it is making me even more pleased. knowing that in a bit we will both get up and go to bed together. Do our now very routine getting into bed things. TV on, lights off (usually me getting the lights), pillows shifted, maybe some soduku, you setting the timer, channel 18 firmly in place with re-runs - all the normal stuff. Then we fall asleep together.

So while I struggled to come up with some massively insightful blog entry tonight. I came up with something simple. And sometimes it is the little things that make our lives together so amazing. Something as small and insignificant as seeing you wrapped up and asleep at the other end of the couch.

Maybe tomorrow it will hapen again - who knows? But I can only hope.

You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.

The Luckiest

After 22 years together i am still quite enamored with the fact that I hear songs and they make me think of you. New songs, old songs, songs of every genre. I still hear someone with "that tone in their voice" or sing "that perfect lyric" and feel compelled to share the song with you. Often I hear them and wish I was with you. I tend to hear them more often when I am not with you (maybe because you would never listen to "my" music) and often they make me either miss you more or feel like you are actually with me.

When I was in San Francisco last week I heard anothe one. This one by Ben Folds (he doesn't have the 5 anymore I guess). The song is hopelessly romanti. It is one of those "tells a story" kind of songs. It is a story of meeting, loving beyond imagination and leaving together. It is kind of "Notebook" like in a way. The best line is when he says "I love you more than I have ever found a way to say".

So here it is.

"The Luckiest" - Ben Folds

I don't get many things right the first time,
In fact i am told that a lot.
Now i know all the wrong turns ands tumbles and falls
Brought me here.
Now it was right before the day that i first saw your lovely face.
Now i see it everyday

And i know
That i am,
I am,
I am the luckiest.

What if i'd been born 50 year before you
In a house on the street where you live?
Maybe i'd be outside as you passed on your bike,
Would i know?
And then i'd see your eyes,
I'd see one pair that i'd recognize.

And i know
That i am,
I am,
I am the luckiest.

I love you more
Than i have ever found a way to say
To you.

Next door there's an old man
Who lived to his 90's
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife, she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away.
I'm sorry i know that's a strange way
To tell you that i know we belong.

That i know
That i am,
I am,
I am the luckiest.

Pretty good huh? You know he only has one thing wrong. He isn't the "luckiest". I am.

You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.

Preparing for Summer

Yesterday my business partner and I were trying to determine when we could launch our next pilot in DC.  I told him we needed to look at the calendar because in a week or so my “summer” started and it was busy.   Then I realized how much I was looking forward to my summer.  Then I realized how lucky I was to have such a wonderful wife plan out such and exciting summer for me and the rest of the family.

So I doubt this blog entry is going to fall into the “romantic” category.  However, if will certainly fall into the “she is amazing category”.

Summer I guess officially starts for us on Friday.  A short trip to Chicago.  While we have some business planned, you have now managed to add an overnight stay, some dinner/party plans with your friends (I am so excited for you on that on) and I am certain short trips to grab some of my favorite Chicago foods.  We can add to that a 90 mile car trip each way with some hand holding, one on one conversation and singing along with whatever we happen to pick on the radio.

The following weekend we took the Milwaukee annual Summerfest extravaganza to a whole new level.  Started first with a casual invitation to our nephew and his bride. Grew into the addition of another nephew and finally the 3 musketeers completed with the final nephew.  So now it becomes the “pre vacation” weekend.  Such fun will be had with mass drinking, tailgating, concerts, fun food, Singstar, brewery tours and so much reminiscing over the all the other times we have spent together.

Barely two weeks will pass from then before we load up the family truckster (thanks Chevy Chase) and head across the country to the actual summer vacation.  2 1/2 days in the car one way.  Stops at a few sights along the way.  A bourbon tour and experiencing Louisville’s famous downtown atmosphere (you could buy a weekend condo it is so awesome) on the way there.  Hours upon hours of family conversation about whatever along the ride.  Innumerate times of asking the girls to stop arguing or to take off the headphones and pay attention.  Again more hand holding for us, listening to whatever master playlist you created for the trip (come one you know you have this planned) and stopping at a variety of fast food joints we don’t have privy to in Wisconsin as though they were actually part of our vacation.

Then we arrive at Hilton Head.  It will be the second straight year there, but this one will be so much better.  This time we are with real family.  We picked a better house/neighborhood. Know so much more about what we should/should not do.  The boys, your sister, our girls and us all in a house for a week.  Lots of sun.  Lots of activity.  Lots of game playing.  Lots of Singstar.  Sharing every story we have created over the years.  Drinking way more than we should.  Then actually drinking some more.  Creating a whole new set of stories to share the next time we get together.  So much fun.  So little stress.  So many memories.

A week later we head home.  2 1/2 more days in the car, but more stops planned along the way.  The Vanderbilt house will be awesome.  I know you are excited about that.  More hand holding, more MP3 searching, more girls arguing.  Just good family time. 

So what does all of this have in common?  You.  What would we do without you making sure every detail was covered?  Ad-hoc gathering of the boys.  Finding the house.  Coordinating the house decision.  Planning the route.  Taping together the map.  Booking the hotels.  All so that over the next 4-6 weeks we are able to create a thousand new funny stories, fabulous memories and appreciation of the family we have assembled.

I can’t wait for summer.  I think we have underestimated just how packed it will be for us.  And I haven’t even considered what we do after Hilton Head.  I am sure you will think of something.  And it too will be awesome.

So while this entry wasn’t a “romantic” entry, it will serve as a reminder of what our summer and a huge thank you to you for making it all possible.

You’re the world to me.  I love you more than anything in the world.

Anan Cara

The only drawback to the fact that I am finally home more often is that I don’t necessarily get dressed first thing in the morning.  That means that the bracelet that we share together doesn’t always find its way to my wrist until much later in the day.  I have stated in the blog before that bracelet has provided me with much protection and warmth over the years.  Not having it on all the time seems weird.

The concept of the phrase is still so fitting for us.  “Soul mate” or “friend of my soul” no matter which definition you find they all speak to our relationship.  The Celtic tradition of having a companion to walk with you on your journey throughout life is so appropriate for us.  We walk together in everything we do.  Most often hand in hand.  Sometimes arm in arm.  Always with our hearts as one.  We are perfect soul mates.  The best way to be with our perfect love.

I gave a tom of thought to how I would write this blog entry.  Then i stumbled upon an anonymous poem called “Anan Cara”.  I read it like a million times.  I had a few moments of tears of happiness as i read.  It really is nearly perfect for us.  So I figured I would simply post it for you and have you enjoy it as well.

Anan Cara
Only in love can we depend
A link stronger than steel
A bond that will connect us beyond the end
Embrace me with your iron bands Ana Cara
Hold me tight as my tears gently whisper
Let the world wash away around us
When we are apart tell the world “I miss her”
As rose petals float gently down to earth
Their silky velvet soft on my fingers
Anan cara, without words
The love i have inside for you flourishes and blooms
Anan cara – the whole world will know

The poem even speaks to the bonds the bracelets hold between us.  How perfect.

You’re the world to me.  I love you more than anything in the world.

Al and Tipper Gore

So I kind of lied this morning.  I heard the whole Al/Tipper Gore thing on GMA.  Sad that a couple that appeared so happy for so long is not longer together.  But i listened closely and know why that will never happen to us.

The key driver from what I heard was that they “grew” apart as their interests in life changed.  All went Hollywood and Tipper didn’t go along with him.  I am certain that she found things around Tennessee to occupy her time and put her effort towards.  But as they remained apart they started getting “different” interests.  Separation is the hardest thing for any couple to deal with on a regular basis.  Even after 40 years they apparently failed.

The reason I know this will never happen to us is that we put so much effort into being together.  Not always physically, but always together.  That we take such copious effort to make sure that we have the regular things in our lives that keep them connected.  That keep us connected.

I am certain Al Gore traveled a ton.  Time away from Tipper.  I traveled too.  But did Al make certain he was in his room at a certain time every night possible to have an appropriate good night call?  Did All and Tipper ever watch a TV show with the phone attached to their ears together from 500 or 1,000 miles away?  Was Tipper sharing with Al what they got in the mail everyday as though the mail was some kind of daily event?  These little things always helped bridge our physical distance from each other and make us seem so much closer.  So much more “together”.

The other way people start to grow apart is when they develop interests that don’t involve the other.  We have never done that either.  While we have some small things that we both “like” that the other doesn’t “like”.  We always take interest in what the other is doing (no matter how painful it is for you).  Even small things like “The Kill Your Husband” TV channel, or my stupid books or the music we like.  We never let the other have a “completely separate” piece of their life.  Not in a creepy way, but in a “we are in this together for the next 70 years, so I had better be interested” kind of way.

They talked about how Al and Tipper changed after the kids where all grown and out of the house.  We have been preparing for this for years.  It is the time you and I spend together that is most important.  We love the girls and the times we spend with them are so memorable.  But we have so many memories of just you and I.  So many simple times with funny stories or classic situations.  Our time together with just us has been as much a treasure as the time we spent as a family.  Someday one of the girls will make a book/dvd of the times their parents had together.  Kind of like the book of adventures in “Up”.

So I don’t worry about what happened to Al and Tipper happening to us.  No matter how “happy” any other couple is they aren’t “us”.  No couple is – nor will any ever be.  I only hope the girls get and their husbands get close.   Al and Tipper likely failed long ago at prioritizing their lives.  We never do.  We won’t fail.  Plus they are democrats for god sake – failure was in their genes.

You’re the world to me.  I love you more than anything in the world.