Home vs. Away

Sounds like this should be a sports commentary huh? Home vs Away. But it really isn't. You commented several times this week that we seem to get along better when I am away than we do when I am home. That you think that makes me very sad.

I don't think it is true. I think what has happened is a lot has changed in our lives. Probably more has changed in your day to day life than mine, but both of our lives have changed. We essentially misplaced a family member and we really have not had a normal weekend in months. All of that puts a lot of stress on both of us.

So happens happens when we get stressed? Well that stress always seems easier to be released on someone you love. Someone you know will still be there after the release. In a way it is kind of nice. People can vent a little towards the one person they love and trust the most and know that there are little repercussions for the venting. That person isn't going to leave. They will still be there tomorrow and the next day. They will still love you the same way they did before.

The saddest part is that maybe we don't realize that we are somewhat stressed. I think we are. When was the last time we had a weekend where we didn't have to drive to Madison, rush to the airport, fly somewhere or entertain some friends or family? It has been over a month and maybe even longer than that.

This past weekend we had our oldest daughter home for the first time and our youngest daughter with a sudden homecoming event. Then I left on Sunday and the older daughter had to be driven home late.

The weekend before that we had a trip to Texas and a late night round trip to Madison.

The weekend before that we trekked the younger one back and forth to Madison. Even on our big night alone together we found ourselves exhausted.

Before that we had homesick daughter on her first weekend alone in Madison we opted to visit on a spur of the moment.

Before that rude friends from Atlanta.

Before that trip to Madison to move our daughter into her new life/dorm.

Before that trip to Texas.

See what I mean? Very little time spent in a "normal" life for us. Who knows this may be normal for us, but if it is it will take getting used to over time.

So this gets to why do we get along better when I am away? We sadly that may be the most normal thing we have going. You have no idea how much it pain me to type that, but it may be true. I don't think we really "get along better" so much as we know what to expect. We have our routines with me being away for work and when I leave they continue. It is more normal for us.

I'd give anything for a few days of dinner at home followed by some couch time watching our favorite shows. That is normal. I'll even cook (although it is really better when you do that) and while on the couch you can expect some foot rubbing. It will be nice and normal.

Of course I guess we have to wait a week or so for that - we have company this weekend. Oh well. Like I said before, neither of us are going anywhere. We'll always have each other. Time will eventually allow us to have some "normal" time. When it comes it will be wonderful.

I love you sweetie. You are the best part of my life. You always have been.