How Much I love You

This is kind of odd being home while I write this, it was always intended to be that kind of "on the road" message. However, I think this week I really have something to say. You being off at physical therapy is probably a good thing as it gives me time to get down to business.

I love you so much. In fact I think often it is too much. My sun rises and sets with you and when things don't go well between us I don't think my sun even bothers to come up. While that may sound somewhat romantic it has its problems too. When I feel hurt I have no one to turn to and say anything. So it just sits there waiting for you to come back to me. Sometimes that seems so long and so painful. This weekend was that way.

I won't even bother to tell you what hurt me, it is silly. But I was hurt. And while I waited for you to hug me, kiss me or tell me you loved me it never came. Each hour got a little harder and longer. It seemed like you weren't ever coming back to me. You didn't even know you were gone, but I did. That is how incredibly centered my life is around you. Now I know I am supposed to be the strong man around here, but I can't always be that way. Sometimes I need you - the one person most important to me - to simply hug me, kiss me and tell me you love me. That fixes everything.

So the message for this week is how important you are in my life. How I can't imagine days without you in them. How even the sound of your voice lifts my spirits. When your soft hand touches me it still sends chills through me, when your soft lips kiss me it still makes me feel warm inside and the strength of your hug makes me feel safe and loved. I can't do without those things. When they aren't there I feel hurt. When they aren't there I feel weak. Without them I don't feel loved.

Ironically now that you have come back to me, I feel better. Like our oldest daughter has mastered - you simply bounce back and everything is fine. I love you so much - I don't think all the blogs, cards and notes in the world could ever express how deeply I really feel about you. With every move you make I love you a little more.

It will be really nice to be home with you all week.

I love you.