This blog post has been breweing inside of me for some time now. I pretty much started when we decided to move to Chicago. Since that decision, we have had many opportunities to reflect on old houses, old Apartments and our collection of belongings. We have essentially been running through our 22 plus years together as bot a couple and a family.
The videos are priceless. I think we heard this somewhere recently and it hit home ( or we may have just said it ourselves - who knows - we can be poignant at times ), but "we had little but we had so much". There were so many happy times that weren't major holidays or birthdays. Just time spent as a family. The girls singing all the time. If not childrens songs, then singing along to something we played on the stereo. It seemed to be such a biog part of their lives. No wonder they both excelled in choir and that damned Sing Star game is so popular in our basement. There are grea videos of just time spent together. You may not remember my "day off" but I certainly do and having it on video made that skipped day of work worth the time. My only regret is that there isn't much video of the two of us. However, what I have seen of you on the tape only reminds me how amazing you have always looked.
Going through the boxes in the basement was really terrific fun. It made me happy, sad, joyous and scared all at the same time. Literally every box had some kind of memory in it of some kind. A drawing here, a story there, maybe a book report or just a hand written card that said "i love you mommy". That we saved almost everything turned out to be very important. There is no way to remember all of that without looking back at the actual stuff. The girls will one day spend a day like we spent doing exactly the same thing. They will show their kids and they will save their kids stuff in the very same way.
We have created a lifetime of memories together. Our family - the one you and I crafted - may not be perfect, but it is pretty spectacular. Our girls may take for granted how happy their lives have been, but I think they know how much we did for them. How much we did for us. How no matter what the odds, we always came through with the right things at the right time.
Thank you for making my life so happy. I know you believe in God's plan. His plan certainly included us being happy the past 22 years, and it will have us even happier for the next 50 or so.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
Monday, May 16, 2011
It has been a year...a good year
I guess you noticed that there was no blog entry this week. I had a reason. I knew that I would be away from you, it would make me very sad and it would prompt me to give you a daily entry of the better part of a week.
A year has passed since I stopped traveling so much. So being away seems so much harder now. I know time will pass very slowly this week. Minutes will seem like hours and hours like days. In reality, the 5 days will be 5 days and I will then be back at home with you where I belong.
More than a year ago (January 2010), I started counting down the days until we were home together every day. Do you remember the countdown in the blog? 90 days, then 60 days, etc. That time seemed to take forever. As I counted down those days I had some concern that we had learned to be apart from each other so well, that being together all the time might be a problem. How would we respond to not having a weekly “coming home” feeling or a weekly “separation”? At times it made me nervous.
Boy was I wrong. Being with you every day is how it should be all the time. Being able to wake up with you every day. Fall asleep with you every night. Watch our TV shows together, eat our meals together, run errands together…. Just “be” together. Nothing makes me happier. Nothing makes me smile more.
There is an irony to this all. While you refer to the past year as a “tough” year, I think exactly the opposite. It has been one of the best years of our marriage. While we have had many challenges, I think as couple it was our best year. I have never been more in love with you. We have never been happier. We have managed to face every challenge together and we have beaten them all. 2010-2011 will be landmark time in our history. I promise you when we look back on it, it will be remembered fondly and age like a fine wine.
So I start now counting down the days until Friday. When I get to see the one person I love more than anything again. It will be like having a fantastic birthday present waiting for me.
You’re the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
Friday, May 6, 2011
My Favorite Post
I know Mother's Day is a day for you, but in a way it is a day for me as well. I look forward to the post where I get to tell you how important you arer to our family and how lucky we are to have you as the "mother" that makes us a whole family. All of those points are obvious, but how I perceive it is a bit different.
I am amazed by the role you hold in our family. Frankly, I really can't imagine what other families do without someone like you to hold them together. I know I have never witnessed anything quite like it in my life. I have never seen someone take the responsibility you take and the care and love with which you accept that responsibility. In my eyes, you are what a mother should be all about. It remains the polar opposite of what I think you or I have ever experienced.
Consider the famous "TV moms" of the past. They rarely had roles in their families as prominent as yours. I spent some time trying to fogure out which one you were most like, it didn't give good results.
Marion Cunningham? Come on. Not only did Howard run the family, he handled all of the difficult situations. You have little in common with her. She didn't even comfort Joanie when Chachi dumped her.
June Cleaver? Hardly. Not once in our marriage have you put on pearls and cleaned the house. Ward made all the tough decisions. June simply put on band-aids, served the soup and passed the phone to Ward. In our house, your role goes well beyond stuff.
Samantha Stephens and Laura Petrie do have one thing in common with you. They were both very attractive wives. Samantha did wear the pants in her family, but frankly she didn't give poor Tabitha the attention she deserved. Laura? Heck you hardly ever saw their kid. Not sure what great parenting skills were required for that.
In the 80's they got closer. How about Elyse Keaton. She was smart. You have that in common. She was compassionate. You have that too in common. But she was kind of a flake and frankly she had at least 2 kids who were kind of messed up. Claire Huxtable? Too perfect. Too fake. Not anything like you. Jill Taylor from "Home Improvement"? Maybe we are getting closer. She was strong willed, had a certain sex appeal and clearly kept Tim in line. The boys were good kids, but she raised boys not girls so she can't even compare to you.
The 90's gave us a few other to consider. But still no one who comes close. I know we joke that Rosanne might be a fit, but as funny as she was and as often as she bailed out her kids, I still think she had kind of a selfish approach to parenting. Your tendency is to put the kids/family first and yourself second (despite what you may actually say out loud). Amy Matthews (yeah Corey's Mom) may actually be closer than any of them. Always there to put Corey in his place, but tin the end there to give him the love and support he needed.
There really weren't any good ones in the 2000's. Debra Barone had no backbone. Beyond her there is little to consider.
So that means you have no peers. No one for comparison sake. A one in a million. The one in a million we are so lucky to have. Like our very own lottery ticket.
I found two pretty good quotes about motherhood that I do think apply to you. The first is from Pearl S Buck who said "Some are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same; and most mothers kiss and scold together." The second is a bit more simple. It is a Jewish proverb (which is odd because I think they make crappy mothers), "A mother understands what her family does not say". I like those and think they cover your role pretty well.
Happy Mothers Day my love. You likely need more than one day of celebration every year. I know the role you play gets harder and harder every day, but you always seem up to the challenge. You remain exactly what I think a mother should be. Thank you for showing me what it really means.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
I am amazed by the role you hold in our family. Frankly, I really can't imagine what other families do without someone like you to hold them together. I know I have never witnessed anything quite like it in my life. I have never seen someone take the responsibility you take and the care and love with which you accept that responsibility. In my eyes, you are what a mother should be all about. It remains the polar opposite of what I think you or I have ever experienced.
Consider the famous "TV moms" of the past. They rarely had roles in their families as prominent as yours. I spent some time trying to fogure out which one you were most like, it didn't give good results.
Marion Cunningham? Come on. Not only did Howard run the family, he handled all of the difficult situations. You have little in common with her. She didn't even comfort Joanie when Chachi dumped her.
June Cleaver? Hardly. Not once in our marriage have you put on pearls and cleaned the house. Ward made all the tough decisions. June simply put on band-aids, served the soup and passed the phone to Ward. In our house, your role goes well beyond stuff.
Samantha Stephens and Laura Petrie do have one thing in common with you. They were both very attractive wives. Samantha did wear the pants in her family, but frankly she didn't give poor Tabitha the attention she deserved. Laura? Heck you hardly ever saw their kid. Not sure what great parenting skills were required for that.
In the 80's they got closer. How about Elyse Keaton. She was smart. You have that in common. She was compassionate. You have that too in common. But she was kind of a flake and frankly she had at least 2 kids who were kind of messed up. Claire Huxtable? Too perfect. Too fake. Not anything like you. Jill Taylor from "Home Improvement"? Maybe we are getting closer. She was strong willed, had a certain sex appeal and clearly kept Tim in line. The boys were good kids, but she raised boys not girls so she can't even compare to you.
The 90's gave us a few other to consider. But still no one who comes close. I know we joke that Rosanne might be a fit, but as funny as she was and as often as she bailed out her kids, I still think she had kind of a selfish approach to parenting. Your tendency is to put the kids/family first and yourself second (despite what you may actually say out loud). Amy Matthews (yeah Corey's Mom) may actually be closer than any of them. Always there to put Corey in his place, but tin the end there to give him the love and support he needed.
There really weren't any good ones in the 2000's. Debra Barone had no backbone. Beyond her there is little to consider.
So that means you have no peers. No one for comparison sake. A one in a million. The one in a million we are so lucky to have. Like our very own lottery ticket.
I found two pretty good quotes about motherhood that I do think apply to you. The first is from Pearl S Buck who said "Some are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same; and most mothers kiss and scold together." The second is a bit more simple. It is a Jewish proverb (which is odd because I think they make crappy mothers), "A mother understands what her family does not say". I like those and think they cover your role pretty well.
Happy Mothers Day my love. You likely need more than one day of celebration every year. I know the role you play gets harder and harder every day, but you always seem up to the challenge. You remain exactly what I think a mother should be. Thank you for showing me what it really means.
You're the world to me. I love you more than anything in the world.
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