A love like ours

This evening I got to witness something that brought tears to my eyes. It was an odd kind of tears because the tears were brought on by complete strangers. During our company awards the lady who won thanked her husband and told him she loved him in front of a room of people. She sounded so sincere, so believable and remarkably I got jealous. However, I was touched.

It puzzled me a bit that I was jealous. They were complete strangers for gods sake.

Then it hit me. It was nice to see someone else feel the same way about their spouse as I do. Someone who clearly had that "feeling" that I have for you. How cool that she felt that way about her husband. How cool it was to know that someone else feels even remotely like I do about you.

Even more so I was jealous that she was able to tell a whole room full of people. What I wouldn't give for that. How amazing a gift would it be to be able to sincerely profess your undying love for someone to so many people. How must that have felt for him. How proud he must have been. How truly special was the moment.

I'd give anything to give you that opportunity. To have the whole world know just how I feel about you. To have everyone envy you because someone felt so strongly about how they felt for you. More than just our friends and family, but a general public that can see how truly wonderful this love can be.

Maybe it would be an opportunity to give some hope to people who haven't been as lucky as we have been all these years. Maybe after witnessing the love we have a few hands might grasp each other in a special moment. Maybe we could touch someone enough to reach out and profess a love of their own.

I doubt this would really happen. I doubt the scenario will ever take place. I don't see myself winning and academy award or anything like that anytime soon. I don't think a thousand people read this blog regularly and see how I feel about you. But I know it would be an amazing gift to you. Something that could make you the envy of the masses.

So I guess I will just have to be content with making certain you know that I love you so strongly I want everyone to know. I want others to be jealous of us. I think some already are, but it would be cool of it were more.

For now we can keep it between us. Between our little family.

I love you. At least I know the most important person hears my words.

I miss you.

Added Bonus for You....some song lyrics...I waited a long time to find this song for you...

The Power of Love - Frankie Goes to Hollywood

I'll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door

Feels like fire
I'm so in love with you
Dreams are like angels
They keep bad at bay-bad at bay
Love is the light
Scaring darkness away-yeah

I'm so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

the power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

I'll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door
When the chips are down I'll be around
With my undying, death-defying
Love for you

Envy will hurt itself

Let yourself be beautiful
Sparkling love, flowers
And pearls and pretty girls
Love is like an energy
Rushin' rushin' inside of me

the power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

This time we go sublime
Lovers entwine-divine divine
Love is danger, love is pleasure
Love is pure-the only treasure

I'm so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
The power of love
A force from above
A sky-scraping dove

Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

I'll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door

It Warms My Heart

I think given that bitten cold and tons of snow that we have experienced this year that another list is in order for this post. But rather than focus on the weather, I will focus on those things about you that "warm my heart".

In no particular order they would be....

• I really like the way you rub the back of my neck when we are driving in the car. Just the soft touch of your fingertips can put me at ease. In addition, I can feel the touch all the way through my body. It is among your most loving gestures. It is a very simple expression of love.
• Little makes me feel as warm as when you roll over in your sleep and put your arm around me or touch me. Just knowing that we spend so many nights together makes me feel safe, the unexpected sleepful reach of your arm is a wonderful reminder that you feel safe too.
• I like to call the house and have you answer the phone. That first sound of your voice is a thing of beauty. It is hard not to simply say "I love you" after you say "hello".
• The tremendous amount of thought you put into everything you do. As frustrating as the shopping for the bedding may have been this weekend, I am always amazed at how you visualize everything in your mind and make it look perfect. Even more, I know you don't do those things just for yourself, but for all of us.
• How the girls look at you with such adoration. It reminds me how lucky they are to have you in their lives and how lucky we are to have them in ours. I know that all mothers love their kids, but not all mothers love them as completely as you love them.
• Kissing you on that really soft part of your neck. You know the place, just below your ear and at the very end of your jawline. No matter how many times I may have kissed you their, you still turn your head just a little bit as if it tickles. It is truly soft and I think the warmest part of your body.
• Ok this one is silly, but I like watching you play Snood. It is really the goofiest game ever, but you smile and look so peaceful while you play. I like the peaceful look on your face as if nothing else matters at that time.
• Kissing you goodbye when I leave. While I hate to leave you period. The kiss goodbye is like a simple reminder that I have something to come home to when I return.
• Finally, any hug of any kind between us.

I love you sweetie and that I know warms my heart. Of course, without your there is no heart to warm.

Will you be mine?

I am not certain that you realize this or not, but Thursday represents the 20th time I will beg you to be my Valentine. 20 times I have asked and hopefully you find it in your heart to make me your Valentine again this year.

Because this year is a milestone of sorts, I really thought I would use this space to plead my case as your potential "20 Year Valentine".

Lets start with the gifts. I am certain that over the past 20 years I have sent you more than 50 dozen roses. Between Valentines days, birthdays, anniversaries and times I was in trouble there have been masses of stemmed sentiment pass through our doors. I am even pretty certain that I have added some other gifts during that time. Some jewelry hear and there or some other trinkets. But frankly sweetie the flowers and gifts are not the reason you should allow me to be your Valentine.

I'd tell you that the cards over the past years are a part of the convincing. However, I do not buy cards like you buy them. You always seem to find the perfect card, the one that says EXACTLY what you want it to say. I really just find the one that I am most certain I haven't given you before. Then I hope that I write something so powerful in the card, that you don't notice how lame of a selection I made. I think I have done a decent job with the writing part. It is always honest thought. I have tried for 20 years to be somewhat poetic. However, that is still not the reason you should allow me to be yours this Valentines Day.

I have never assumed that you would be my Valentine unless I asked you. Consider it humility. Consider it a reminder to you that I know how lucky I have been that you keep saying "yes". Every card or flowers I have ever given you for this holiday have been in the question form. Every year I hold my breath just a little waiting for you to say you will be my Valentine. However, it isn't my humble askings that are the reason you should be my Valentine this year.

After 20 years, the reason that you should be my Valentine has not changed. The reason remains the same as it has been fro 20 years. I love you. It is isn't a simple love either. The love I have for you is poetic. It is the perfect lyric with the perfect music. It is the reason when I look into your eyes I still feel tingly all over. It is the single most consistent thing in my life. I am so lucky to have such a beautiful, funny, intelligent and sexy woman in my life. These are all the reasons why you should consider allowing me to be your Valentine for the 20th time. These are all the reasons why I would never dream of asking anyone else to be mine. These are all the reasons why you should say "yes".

So here goes.....

My loving wife, will you be my Valentine?

I love you so much. I'll hold my breath just a little until you answer.

Homecoming Weekend

This past weekened was so nice. Just the two of us. Lots of time spent together really focused on just being "us". I don't think it could have come at a better time and couldn't have come soon enough. I don't think I could have enjoyed it more.

I think sometimes we truly forget that our relationship is so special. That we are really that close. That any real problem between us causes us so much hurt. That without each other, we just aren't the same people.

I am truly sorry about the airport thing. It was disrespectful. Even more so it made you doubt so many other things. You have no need to doubt. I truly only want you my love.

The weekend was perfect. Pizza and wine on Friday night. It is so cool how we both remember so vividly those nights at your apartment. Pizza box on the bed, that 13 inch TV (and no remote or cable - gasp) and spending a whole night just being together. Somehow when we want to we can re-create most of that vibe anytime we have the chance. I do have to say that have a remote is a nice addition to this scenario.

Saturday, I quite frankly cannot even remember what we did during the day. However, I know that we smiled at each each other alot. Held hands a lot. Kissed quite frequently. So whatever errands or activities we actually did were ancillary at best. Smiling, holding hands and kissing is exactly the kind of behavior that defines our past 20 years together.

Saturday night's dinner was devine. I just love Piano Blu. It has become "our" restaurant. We hardly even look at the menu. We even now have our own waitress (thanks Rose). We can add our memories of times at Piano Blu to our history (like the couple groping each other, the time we were actually sitting with the band because we were so close, the 5th martini, etc). The food was fabulous. Your surprise pieces of crab were funny and quite tasty.

Once we got home, well.... Lets just say you couldn't have looked any more beautiful at dinner and "Gwen" holds entirely new memories for me.

Breakfast Sunday morning was really nice. Somehow by the time we got to Sunday morning we weren't even talking about the girls anymore. It was affirmation that we have a very strong identity without them. That is something to cherish as they both grow older and it becomes even more about just us.

In the end the weekend was like a homecoming for our relationship. Something we should do more often. A weekend that I am pretty sure reminded us both how wonderful the past 20 years have been and how much we have to look forward to over the next 50 or so years.

I love you so very much and I always will.