I know you got your Christmas letter instead of a a post, but I figured adding this one line wouldn't hurt.
MERRY CHRISTMAS MY LOVE!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Finally Home
Tomorrow marks the last day away from home for me this year. This whole working in another state thing is really a serious drag. I long for being you and the girls. I know I have missed so much of their lives the past 18 months. I know I have missed so much of our lives the past 18 months. I know it can't be like this forever. It hurts more than you know.
I thought I might honor this last day with a list of sorts. I grappled with a few ideas. I have the issue of not trampling on next week's Christmas letter (which always has some kind of list) and still have this be entertaining and make you smile. However, I landed on this list. Here goes....
10). The discussions at dinner involve on-going talk of bodily functions and "that time of the month" issues. While you share some of this while I am home, I know that in my absence it is a no holes barred scenario.
9). You secretly eat everyone of my favorite meals and then tell me you had "Sandwiches" when I call. I am certain I smelled Farfalle one day when I got home.
8). There is much ping pong practice going on in an effort to make me look even worse when I play. How did you all get that good all of a sudden?
7). The bed never gets made. I have spies honey, just admit this one.
6). When you go to the grocery store you secretly make jokes about needing more "borscht" - becuase you really do think I am funny.
5). The radio in the car is on talk radio all week long.
4). The powder room (or should I say "my" bathroom) is the only toilet used all week long. I know this because I have been monitoring toilet paper usage for some time now.
3). You go to Costco every day - and YOU eat the samples!
2). No one has to chop the vegetables or shred the cheese. You always use the food processor for that. You also never have potatoes, because no one else peels but me!
1). You fall asleep to Sports Center every night.
Ok, maybe it wasn't funny. I did try though.
In reality, you have no idea how much I notice that you make every attempt to keep things normal in the girls lives while I am not there. Even more importantly, I do notice how you make such effort to make the most of every moment I am home.
You are the love of my life. Today I did hear a song (well I had heard it plenty before) and the lyrics really struck me. Go and listen to "Dig" by Incubus. It is a truly inspirational love song. I'll leave you with the lyrics from the song.
All my Love.
"Dig" - Incubus
We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easier to identify.
Look me in the eye
And ask for forgiveness;
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes you are my friend.
We all have something that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how hard we try.
We all have someone that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
Oh each other....
When everything
Else is gone.
I thought I might honor this last day with a list of sorts. I grappled with a few ideas. I have the issue of not trampling on next week's Christmas letter (which always has some kind of list) and still have this be entertaining and make you smile. However, I landed on this list. Here goes....
Top 10 Things I KNOW Are Happening While I am Gone
10). The discussions at dinner involve on-going talk of bodily functions and "that time of the month" issues. While you share some of this while I am home, I know that in my absence it is a no holes barred scenario.
9). You secretly eat everyone of my favorite meals and then tell me you had "Sandwiches" when I call. I am certain I smelled Farfalle one day when I got home.
8). There is much ping pong practice going on in an effort to make me look even worse when I play. How did you all get that good all of a sudden?
7). The bed never gets made. I have spies honey, just admit this one.
6). When you go to the grocery store you secretly make jokes about needing more "borscht" - becuase you really do think I am funny.
5). The radio in the car is on talk radio all week long.
4). The powder room (or should I say "my" bathroom) is the only toilet used all week long. I know this because I have been monitoring toilet paper usage for some time now.
3). You go to Costco every day - and YOU eat the samples!
2). No one has to chop the vegetables or shred the cheese. You always use the food processor for that. You also never have potatoes, because no one else peels but me!
1). You fall asleep to Sports Center every night.
Ok, maybe it wasn't funny. I did try though.
In reality, you have no idea how much I notice that you make every attempt to keep things normal in the girls lives while I am not there. Even more importantly, I do notice how you make such effort to make the most of every moment I am home.
You are the love of my life. Today I did hear a song (well I had heard it plenty before) and the lyrics really struck me. Go and listen to "Dig" by Incubus. It is a truly inspirational love song. I'll leave you with the lyrics from the song.
All my Love.
"Dig" - Incubus
We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easier to identify.
Look me in the eye
And ask for forgiveness;
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes you are my friend.
We all have something that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how hard we try.
We all have someone that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
Oh each other....
When everything
Else is gone.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Pictures of You
I've been look so long at these pictures of you, that I almost believe that they're real....
For a long time I have been looking at pictures of you. Not so much the printed kind, but the real kind. For a long time I have been able to see you and visualize just how beautiful you are inside and out. It still thrills me that a certain glimpse of you in the right way makes me feel goofy inside.
I had one of those moments this weekend.
I sat in the chair getting my haircut. You were there next to me in another chair. You were talking about something and I was listening at the time. Then slowly I just started looking at you. It was as if the room suddenly got quieter. You looked so beautiful. Your eyes were lit perfectly. Not by the real light, but by your smile. Your smile filled a whole room and no one else but me recognized just how lucky they were to be warmed by it. The simple tilt of your head, an almost arrogant adoration of yourself - but a recognitiion at the same time that you are humble about your beauty.
I've been living so long with these pictures of you, that I almost believe that the pictures are all that I can feel....
Thousands of moments like that throughout the past 20 or so years. Moments when I feel compelled to tell you how much I truly love you. How much I feel so lucky just to be part of your world. How simply perfect you are in every way. I certainly do not plan for those moments, they are moments that just happen. My passion for you grows all the time. My love for grows all the time. I think in big part to anticipation of these moments.
There was nothing in this world that I ever wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart, there was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more than to never feel the breaking apart of my pictures of you.....
Remember the pictures of you I stole? Maybe they started this. Funny, but I don't have more real pictures of you - you seem so uncomfortable having them taken. Yet somehow that makes you even more beautiful. Even more stunning. I cannot tell you how very much the simple glimpses mean to me. How amazingly fascinated I am by their arrival. How lucky I am that you make me feel this way.
So even if I don't regularly say it. Or if I don't regularly notice a new sweater or a change in your hair. I notice you all the time. I gaze at you and I see something no one else sees. Everyone sees how pretty you are, while I see how beautiful you are.
I've bee looking so long at these pictures of you........
I will be looking for a lot longer.
I love you.
For a long time I have been looking at pictures of you. Not so much the printed kind, but the real kind. For a long time I have been able to see you and visualize just how beautiful you are inside and out. It still thrills me that a certain glimpse of you in the right way makes me feel goofy inside.
I had one of those moments this weekend.
I sat in the chair getting my haircut. You were there next to me in another chair. You were talking about something and I was listening at the time. Then slowly I just started looking at you. It was as if the room suddenly got quieter. You looked so beautiful. Your eyes were lit perfectly. Not by the real light, but by your smile. Your smile filled a whole room and no one else but me recognized just how lucky they were to be warmed by it. The simple tilt of your head, an almost arrogant adoration of yourself - but a recognitiion at the same time that you are humble about your beauty.
I've been living so long with these pictures of you, that I almost believe that the pictures are all that I can feel....
Thousands of moments like that throughout the past 20 or so years. Moments when I feel compelled to tell you how much I truly love you. How much I feel so lucky just to be part of your world. How simply perfect you are in every way. I certainly do not plan for those moments, they are moments that just happen. My passion for you grows all the time. My love for grows all the time. I think in big part to anticipation of these moments.
There was nothing in this world that I ever wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart, there was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more than to never feel the breaking apart of my pictures of you.....
Remember the pictures of you I stole? Maybe they started this. Funny, but I don't have more real pictures of you - you seem so uncomfortable having them taken. Yet somehow that makes you even more beautiful. Even more stunning. I cannot tell you how very much the simple glimpses mean to me. How amazingly fascinated I am by their arrival. How lucky I am that you make me feel this way.
So even if I don't regularly say it. Or if I don't regularly notice a new sweater or a change in your hair. I notice you all the time. I gaze at you and I see something no one else sees. Everyone sees how pretty you are, while I see how beautiful you are.
I've bee looking so long at these pictures of you........
I will be looking for a lot longer.
I love you.
Monday, December 3, 2007
It Really Is a Wonderful Life
It is Christmas time again. We are full swing into our annual x-mas affair. We have many of the big items already out of the way. You are nearly done shopping, decorating is completed, the tree is in place (and really tall!) and the sounds of the holiday fill the house (and the car, and the bathroom, well eveyrwhere). On Sunday we added another of the final holiday touches.
George Bailey finally found his way into our home. He was a bit late this year, but his arrival was well timed. We had just finished the tree and we had all settled in for our holiday evening. I never really liked this movie before I met you, now when I watch it I realize why it has become so important.
The premise is simple. George's life is in turmoil. He blames himself. Life has failed him and he is angry. None of George's hopes and dreams came true. In short, this world would have been better off without him.
As George reviews his life he realizes just how many people he has touched and what a lasting impact on them he has made. George learns what a wonderful life he really has had. This time when I watched it I found myself shedding a tear. I had never done that in previous viewings.
My love, I wondered just how many lives you have touched. How many people can count themselves better off for having had you in their lives?
I can quickly name 3. Me and our two beautiful girls. We should count twice (or even three times) on this list. You have given each of us so much life. Some much purpose. Your impact on us has been immeasurable. But we are easy to identify. So I will dig a bit deeper.
Next on my list is the boys. How much of you is really in them? How much of their personality is a reflection of you? I say a lot. During times when they needed family you were always there for them. When those boys needed some comic relief and the ability to "forget it all" you provided them a haven for such activity. When they needed advice or a listening ear, you were always there. I cannot imagine how much harder their lives would have been had you not be around to provide them some real family.
I'll move next to your sister. I know you recognize how much she helped you when you were younger, but I think the reverse may be more true. Even when you were younger you provided her the close family she needed when she moved far away from her family. Summer visits and an extension of her family in Texas. Then when we got married she had you for holidays, you to lean on and you to give her boys the extended family they needed. When she got divorced you where always there for her - even when she was very difficult. Even now you provide her some sense of reality about who she really is in life.
Finally I will go to your mother. Of all the people who have failed you in life, I think she tops the list. Yet you don't cast stones. In fact you almost single handedly allowed her to take an important step in her life. I remember very well your trip to her "group". I remember how hard it was for you and how much courage it took. Yet there you were helping her and providing the incentive ("you will never see your grandhildren") she really needed to get her life right. Trust me she deserves much credit for what she did, but she had you there helping her.
I could go on. We have friends whose lives you have touched, you have co-workers whose lives you touched and your compassion will live on forever in our girls.
I guess now I realize why that movie means so much to you. I wonder if you realized it as well.
Thanks for making my life such a wonderful place. I love you so much and am thankful that our lives touched each other. However, the scale tips in your favor and I get to benefit from it.
Merry Christmas my love.
George Bailey finally found his way into our home. He was a bit late this year, but his arrival was well timed. We had just finished the tree and we had all settled in for our holiday evening. I never really liked this movie before I met you, now when I watch it I realize why it has become so important.
The premise is simple. George's life is in turmoil. He blames himself. Life has failed him and he is angry. None of George's hopes and dreams came true. In short, this world would have been better off without him.
As George reviews his life he realizes just how many people he has touched and what a lasting impact on them he has made. George learns what a wonderful life he really has had. This time when I watched it I found myself shedding a tear. I had never done that in previous viewings.
My love, I wondered just how many lives you have touched. How many people can count themselves better off for having had you in their lives?
I can quickly name 3. Me and our two beautiful girls. We should count twice (or even three times) on this list. You have given each of us so much life. Some much purpose. Your impact on us has been immeasurable. But we are easy to identify. So I will dig a bit deeper.
Next on my list is the boys. How much of you is really in them? How much of their personality is a reflection of you? I say a lot. During times when they needed family you were always there for them. When those boys needed some comic relief and the ability to "forget it all" you provided them a haven for such activity. When they needed advice or a listening ear, you were always there. I cannot imagine how much harder their lives would have been had you not be around to provide them some real family.
I'll move next to your sister. I know you recognize how much she helped you when you were younger, but I think the reverse may be more true. Even when you were younger you provided her the close family she needed when she moved far away from her family. Summer visits and an extension of her family in Texas. Then when we got married she had you for holidays, you to lean on and you to give her boys the extended family they needed. When she got divorced you where always there for her - even when she was very difficult. Even now you provide her some sense of reality about who she really is in life.
Finally I will go to your mother. Of all the people who have failed you in life, I think she tops the list. Yet you don't cast stones. In fact you almost single handedly allowed her to take an important step in her life. I remember very well your trip to her "group". I remember how hard it was for you and how much courage it took. Yet there you were helping her and providing the incentive ("you will never see your grandhildren") she really needed to get her life right. Trust me she deserves much credit for what she did, but she had you there helping her.
I could go on. We have friends whose lives you have touched, you have co-workers whose lives you touched and your compassion will live on forever in our girls.
I guess now I realize why that movie means so much to you. I wonder if you realized it as well.
Thanks for making my life such a wonderful place. I love you so much and am thankful that our lives touched each other. However, the scale tips in your favor and I get to benefit from it.
Merry Christmas my love.
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